Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: WEDNESDAY, January 4, 1995                   TAG: 9501040070
SECTION: BUSINESS                    PAGE: B-8   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: SANDRA BROWN KELLY
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

GRACEFULLY PICKING LITTLE SQUID LEGS FROM BETWEEN TEETH

Jan. 7: Reglaze greenhouse

Jan. 8: Stencil driveway

Jan. 26: Put down Appaloosas for glue

Jan. 27: Meet with Normal Mailer on ``Martha,'' the book

The last entry is a giveaway to what's going on, but you also need to read an article about outlining roadkill fowl as road stencil patterns before you really catch on to what's up.

This is about Martha Stewart, hostess extraordinaire, Kmart spokeswoman, author of 12 best-selling books, who has her own Living magazine that has 800,000 subscribers and recently increased from eight to 10 issues annually.

But this isn't really Martha Stewart.

The bizarre tips are among even more bizarre articles - ``Making Water'' and ``Dirt'' - in ``is Martha Stuart Living?,'' a parody done by two of the real Martha's Connecticut neighbors.

Jim Downey and Tom Connor - who remembers Martha as the ``highly driven, intense'' woman who catered his wedding many years ago - spent 18 months putting together the spoof. It looks almost as yummy as the real thing - at least until you notice the little squid clinging to the ice cream dish in a photo illustrating the recipe for Calamari Gelato, or the instructions for grilling wild cat steaks.

In addition to text on such topics as ``How to Dominate Tag Sales'' and ``Collecting Glue Guns,'' there is a centerfold of a Martha look-alike in a bustier and leather pants wearing a belt adorned with utensils including a whisk, a pizza cutter and a meat fork. Photographer J. Barry O'Rourke, who photographed one of Stewart's early books, was a participant in the parody.

First and second printings totaling 75,000 are nearly sold out, Downey said Tuesday. Another printing, probably of another 75,000 copies, is planned.

``Christmas didn't seem to slow the sales down,'' Downey said. ``What I think happened is that everyone who got them for Christmas now wants one for someone else.''

Downey, a free-lance writer and book designer, also was a regular on the now-defunct ``Kate and Allie'' television show. He said he and Conner, a literary agent, have been getting requests to do more parodies, but he wasn't ready to reveal the topics.

``Living?'' made money, he said.

The truth is that so many of us are so Martha Stewart-like that even deciding which art from the magazine would be best to use with the column was a problem.

Among the parody publication's best photographs are those of wood stacked in various designs and of a table made from logs.

The wood art wouldn't illustrate parody, according to a member of the Roanoke Times & World-News art staff:

``There are people around here who do that.''

If you want to see how your log stack stacks up, the feature is on page 11 of the magazine, which is being sold as a book in the humor section at area bookstores.