Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: THURSDAY, January 5, 1995 TAG: 9501070054
SECTION: NEIGHBORS PAGE: S-3 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: KIMBERLY N. MARTIN STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
It sounds improbable, maybe even impossible.
But Donna Dilley not only imagines this unusual sight; twice a month she also makes it happen.
Dilley is the organizer of the Greater Roanoke Valley Chapters of the League of Junior Cotillions, which is having its first ball Saturday at the Jefferson Club.
The 70-chapter national group, which is in its first year in the Roanoke area, teaches middle-school students ballroom dancing and social etiquette in a two-year, $200-per-year program.
Surprisingly, it was the dancing, not the etiquette, that required a hard sell with its young participants.
"At first it was hard, because they didn't want to touch each other," said Dilley, a former radiation specialist at Lewis Gale Hospital.
That's probably why the Electric Slide and Cotillion Stomp became instant hits - both are dances in which they don't have to touch.
Still, it isn't easy convincing students that the manners Dilley and her teen-age helper are teaching are relevant and usable in today's society. Especially when Dilley herself admits that before she started the program, she didn't know or didn't practice many of the courtesies she's teaching.
It's understandable that she didn't. There are hundreds of rules to remember:
Ladies should sit with their legs to the left of the chair and crossed at the ankle. Dilley sometimes still forgets this one.
Gentlemen should escort ladies on their right arm.
Telephone calls should be limited to no more than 15 minutes.
R.S.V.P. should be made in writing.
Ladies should go first in receiving lines.
Some of these courtesies are not only difficult to remember, but they also are seemingly outdated. For example: Ladies should not call gentlemen, and ladies should wait for gentlemen to open doors.
"It's not saying, 'I'm a weak little thing.' It's just saying, 'This is a courtesy,''' Dilley said. "During the 1960s, cotillions fell by the wayside. Now there's a resurgence of people wanting to learn these courtesies again."
With dance steps and manners to go over, it's a lot for students to absorb in six classes and two balls. But Dilley tries to make the information more digestable by using examples.
First, she explains the rule, then her helpers demonstrate the right and wrong way to apply it.
"Everything we go over, they see with their eyes," she said.
Then the information is reinforced with handouts, quizzes and Cotillion Challenges.
The challenges get students to practice what they've learned in class by asking them to get the signatures of people who've seen them using the courtesy of the month.
"I had one girl [who] had over 100 signatures that she got from going around her neighborhood and going to her dance class," Dilley said.
That student's enthusiasm isn't unusual. Despite the ties and dresses and rules they must learn, the students enjoy the dances.
Jason and Jessica Trompeter skip their tennis lessons for it. And, in an attempt to win the Cotillion Challenge, Jason seated all of the girls in his typing class.
Sara Aheron even took her challenge assignment to church. "I got people to help me with my coat," said Aheron, an eighth-grader.
For most of her students, who are mostly middle- to upper-class, what Dilley is teaching is nothing new.
"My husband and I are very into etiquette, but I think my children listen better when someone else says it," said Jason's mother, Sarina Trompeter.
But the children who could benefit the most from a program such as Dilley's couldn't afford it, Dilley said.
So next year, Dilley hopes to expand her program to work with inner-city children as well.
"This isn't a snobby thing," she said. "It's to make people feel more comfortable, and it helps them to feel better about themselves and to build confidence."
by CNB