ROANOKE TIMES

                         Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: SUNDAY, January 29, 1995                   TAG: 9501300056
SECTION: VIRGINIA                    PAGE: D9   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: ROBERT LITTLE STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: RICHMOND                                 LENGTH: Medium


BILL-WRITING BRINGS OUT THE WAG

The 1995 General Assembly session is approaching its midway point, meaning longer debates, thicker air, looser neckties and colder coffee.

It's necessary, the honorable lawmakers say, in order to get all the laws made and otherwise assure a safe, happy home for every Virginia man, woman and child.

Oh. And dogs, of course.

Thus the impetus to Blacksburg Del. Jim Shuler's resolution No.550.

The quandary: ``A `bad dog' problem is most often an irresponsible-owner problem,'' the resolution reads. And ``because many Virginians are the victims of animal bites each year, there is a pressing need for dogs to be well-behaved community members.''

The legislative solution: ``canine good citizen'' programs. In other words, ``teaching dogs good citizen behavior for the community.''

Of the 2,100 proposed laws and resolutions before the General Assembly this year, Shuler's admittedly is not among the more earnest. Shuler, a Blacksburg veterinarian, submitted it ``by request'' - legislator-speak for ``only because some registered voter wanted me to.''

Don't think for a minute that delegates and senators don't take their lawmaking seriously. But, as House Joint Resolution No.550 shows, legislators don't exactly put all their proposals on their resumes, either.

Sometimes they just make new license plates for the Virginia Association of Women Bowlers, as would House Bill 1914.

Or maybe they'll designate the official motor sports museum of the commonwealth, like House Bill 1614.

And sometimes they offer meaningful, thought-out legislation, then mask it with a name that's perhaps a bit confounding.

Consider Del. William Robinson, D-Norfolk, and his bill relating to ``crimes committed by entities other than natural persons.''

It has nothing to do with The Twilight Zone; sometimes, you see, corporations commit crimes. Robinson wants to amend the law that says criminal defendants can be sentenced to pay fines, go to jail or to die. ``If the defendant is not a natural person, the court shall impose only a fine,'' his bill reads.

There's Del. Howard Copeland, D-Norfolk, who entered a bill making it a crime to ``cause digital pagers to ring with intent to annoy.'' Annoying phone calls already are illegal. So, too, would be annoying beeps.

Another offering from Copeland would let Circuit Court clerks charge $1 a page for copies, instead of the current 50-cent limit. House Bill 2134 is eight pages long.

Some measures, like great art, make connections between seemingly distant topics. Arlington Del. Julia Connally's bill would tack another 50 cents onto motor vehicle registration fees. The proceeds would be used to finance poison control programs.

There's a bill making it an offense to play loud car radios, or ``sound reproduction devices,'' that can be heard more than 100 feet away.

There's a resolution to allow senior citizens to garden on the state's vacant land.

And there's Del. Harvey Morgan, R-Gloucester, with House Bill 2027. It's one page, 15 lines, two sentences long - a runt.

``No member of the General Assembly shall introduce at any regular session of the General Assembly more than 15 bills or joint resolutions,'' it reads. The same thing was tried last year. Lawmakers never got around to voting on it.

Keywords:
GENERAL ASSEMBLY 1995



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