Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: SUNDAY, February 12, 1995 TAG: 9502100024
SECTION: YOUR WEDDING PAGE: 16 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE:
DATELINE: LENGTH: Long
And she did, Victorian style.
Tincher and her mother, Joanne LoFaro, both Roanoke County residents, began planning the Oct. 9, 1994, event right after Lisa and Keith became engaged on New Year's Day last year.
The two were so organized and thorough that friends suggested they start a wedding-coordinating business.
``That would take all the fun out of it,'' Lisa said. ``Besides, I'd have a hard time going along with ideas I didn't like.''
But they were willing to share their experience and some cost-saving measures.
From the beginning, Lisa Tincher had a vision of what she wanted her special day to be. She spent hours and hours figuring out how to make her dream wedding come true.
Tincher and her mother attended a few bridal shows because ``they offer you the chance to see bridal fashions up close,'' allow you to sample cakes, see photographers' work, hear entertainers and are sometimes held at an appropriate place for a reception.
First Tincher had to consider the place for her wedding. She was interested in a hotel for both the ceremony and reception. She settled on the Roanoke Airport Marriott, after speaking with friends and meeting with the coordinator, Melissa Millone.
She found that having an affair on a Sunday night was less expensive than on a Saturday, and that the hotel was willing to include more in their package then.
Because she wanted an October wedding and had many out-of-town guests, the Sunday of Columbus Day weekend (a Monday holiday in some states) saved money, included extras and allowed guests to travel home on Monday.
By February, the initial contract was signed. As changes were made, the Marriott sent her updated contracts, avoiding any misunderstandings on either side and keeping Tincher informed as to what was already decided.
The hotel also kept its own timetable and contacted her when it was time for decisions, such as menu, to be made. The coordinator also worked with the minister and the bridal party at the rehearsal.
As an added perk, the colors of the Marriott's decor fit in perfectly with the warm tones of the Victorian theme Tincher had chosen - rose tones, burgundy, rich greens, some soft purple and ivory (to match her gown).
``In the beginning, my dad [Joseph LoFaro] was like Steve Martin in `Father of the Bride,''' Tincher said. ```We have to cut this and that.' Toward the end, you might find your dad mellowing because he's so caught up in his little girl.''
Both parents attended all of the meetings with the hotel coordinator. The bridegroom attended some, also. ``The only thing Keith chose was the napkin fold,'' Tincher said, ``and he was very proud of it.'' Mostly, the bridgegroom deferred to the bride to make the decisions., but helped her if asked.
Next, Tincher had to decide what to wear. After looking through bridal magazines, Tincher decided on an ornate Mori Lee ivory silk gown, which she ordered through the Discount Bridal Service's local representative.
The Discount Bridal Service is a national chain with contacts in many areas. Representatives deal directly with manufacturers, eliminating retail store markups. For local contacts, call (800) 441-0102.
``It`s important to make sure the gown you're ordering is right for you,'' Tincher said, ``and that you have all the necessary ordering information.''
Her savings: $200.
Tincher ordered her gown at the beginning of March and was told it would arrive in 24 weeks. It came in mid-August.
She pointed out that it's helpful to look through back issues of bridal magazines because the season of the wedding may not be what is advertised currently. If you're planning an October wedding in February, which may be when you need to look for gowns, current issues may be advertising spring styles.
In looking for bridesmaids' dresses, Tincher considered the different body types and styles of the women.
``I knew I wanted ruby, floor length and velvet,'' she said. ``It's your wedding and you need to put forth what you want portrayed, but you have to be a little flexible. You don't want your bridesmaids angry at you.''
The dresses were ordered from a local bridal shop, which required one-half of the cost when ordering and the remainder when the dresses arrived. The Discount Bridal Service requires the total cost when orders are placed.
When ordering bridal dresses for any members of the wedding party, time must be built in for alterations.
Tincher sent off coupons from bridal magazines for sample invitation books and looked through books at stationery stores. Invitations were ordered in June. Most companies promise delivery in 10 business days.
At the end of the books are accessories, such as toasting glasses; aisle cloths; and any personalized items, such as napkins, place cards and matchbooks.
Tincher purchased a calligraphy pen to address the invitations after discovering how expensive calligraphers were. (Customarily, charges are per line.) ``I have ugly handwriting,'' she said. ``The pen made it look really nice.''
Invitations were sent out two months before the wedding because of the number of out-of-state guests. ``I wanted to give them time to make travel arrangements and arrange for time off from work,'' Tincher said.
She and her parents also wanted plenty of time to work on seating arrangements, which sometimes are not finalized until just before the wedding day.
Guests sometimes respond late or not at all, though they may intend to come. Some must be contacted personally.
As she received each response card, Tincher filled in a place card, without the table number. She recommended either buying a bridal file or index cards, using one for each person or couple invited. Notations can be made as to whether a response has been received, if a gift was received, if a thank-you note was sent and ``it's handy to have for sending Christmas cards.''
Tincher went to the Lenox outlet in Williamsburg to purchase her cake knife and toasting glasses in the same pattern she had chosen for her crystal, thus saving over retail prices. She decorated the knife and glasses with gold wire-edged ribbon and nosegays she made.
She purchased a burgundy pillar candle and two gold cherub candle holders for the unity candle at much less than the cost of the set, usually about $30.
Lace was purchased at a local fabric store for draping along the head table and cake table. Tincher and her mother made nosegays with miniature silk roses to place at the top of each drape. The flowers were attached at regular spaces on the lace and the hotel staff pinned the draping into place.
Favors were Victorian-style picture frames, purchased at Kirkland's at Valley View Mall for 99 cents each. Because photos of the bride and groom were not taken before the wedding, cards with the couple's names and wedding date were ordered from a local printer. Tincher cut them to size and placed them in the frames.
As she purchased items for the ceremony and reception, they were put in labeled boxes for easy organization and transport to the hotel.
Tincher visited a cake accessories warehouse, where she purchased columns and white cherubs. She gilded the cherubs with a gold leaf rubbing compound from MJ Designs. Tincher says she believes that if you can't find exactly what you want, there's a way to make it happen.
It was at a bridal show in Lexington that Tincher and her mother tasted a cake by Paris-trained Caroline Dix. Dix was open to Tincher's ideas and offered suggestions, as well, as to what would and would not work. For an additional charge of $30, Dix delivered the cake on the day of the wedding to the hotel, assembled it and placed fresh flowers on it.
The white chocolate mousse frosting was tinted ivory and decorated with roses and scrolls made with hardened white chocolate and the cherubs and columns Tincher had purchased.
The cake, made of all natural ingredients, cost less than $1.50 per serving.
Not everything runs smoothly when planning an event as complicated as a wedding. The ordained minister/DJ hired to both perform the ceremony and provide entertainment at the reception agreed verbally to a lot of the couple's requests but did not fulfill many of them. Meetings were hasty, appointments missed.
``If the people you hire are attentive to you in the beginning, they're going to be attentive to your needs on the big day,'' Tincher said. ``Go with your gut instinct and choose people you have confidence in.''
Initially, Tincher settled on fresh flowers for centerpieces. With the large tables, a $25 arrangement didn't work; with 18 tables, the costs were adding up.
``We considered silk flowers because they would last and be a remembrance of the reception,'' Tincher said. So, she and her mother tried to make their own. ``They looked hideous.''
At MJ Designs, they found silk candle rings in the mix of colors of the wedding, burgundy candles and glass chimneys. On the hotel's burgundy tablecloths, the arrangements looked rich and filled the area needed. Total cost: less than $20 each.
Silk arrangements were made at MJ Designs for the front of the ceremony room and did double duty at the reception. Tincher not only discussed what she wanted with the designer, but brought him angels and an invitation to give him the flavor of the wedding.
There, she bought urns for the arrangements, spray-painted them with matte ivory paint and used gilded rubbing compound to give them an antique look.
Now, Tincher and her mother have the large, lovely arrangements in their homes.
For about $30, the Marriott rented and placed several live plants, including two ornamental trees, at the front and back of the ceremony room.
Tincher, who wanted her bouquet preserved, was astonished to find that, after spending probably $100 on her bouquet, preservation in a shadow box would cost an additional $400 by a firm in Ohio - plus shipping.
A friend suggested dried flowers and brought her to Esther Davis at Studios in the Square on the Roanoke City Market. Davis grows and preserves all the flowers she arranges, which maintain their natural color and shape over a long period of time.
After showing Davis photographs and discussing what was available, Tincher ordered a bouquet of ivory roses surrounded by Queen Anne's Lace with ivory ribbon cascading from it. Cost: $180. The bouquet now sits in the open drawer of a curio table Tincher purchased for her wedding memorabilia. And ``it looked perfect with my dress.''
Davis also made Victorian-style nosegays for the bridesmaids of mixed colors of roses and purple statice with burgundy and ivory ribbons and pearls falling from the base. Cost: $75 each.
Tincher wanted the bouquet she threw to look similar to the one she carried. She purchased silk flowers and a holder at MJ Designs, created the nosegay herself and attached ribbons. Cost: about $11.
When the Marriott quoted Tincher $150-$250 for an ice sculpture, she found a source for a mold for $45. After she made it, the hotel stored it for her and set it up on the dessert table with fresh flowers.
Ideas for ceremonial music came from a bridal planning book. Tincher wanted something tasteful and classical. If the ceremony is not held in a house of worship with an organist or other music available, selections can be taped or musicians hired.
Sometimes friends, co-workers or church members know or know of high school students or others who can provide music for less than professionals.
A family friend's son, who was an accomplished violinist, added an air of elegance to the affair as people walked in to the ceremony accompanied by light classical music.
The mothers and bridesmaids walked down the aisle to ``Ave Maria,'' the bride proceeded to Pachelbel's ``Canon in D,'' and the recessional was ``Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring,'' all played on solo violin.
Tincher had heard that photographers' costs were $500 and up. Again, a family friend and photo-hobbyist, offered her services as a wedding gift. Costs were for film and processing only.
Her father's co-worker offered to videotape the ceremony and reception.
Tincher had seen the photographer's work, had heard the violinist and had seen a video taken by the co-worker prior to accepting their offers. She felt confident in their abilities.
``It means a lot to people if they can do something for your special day,'' Tincher said. ``It makes them feel a part of it.''
Although the wedding was on a Sunday evening, the rehearsal dinner was on Friday. ``It really helps to have one full day of rest in between,'' Tincher said.
All the time Tincher spent planning her wedding day was worth it. She could relax and enjoy it because she ``had confidence in the people doing everything that needed to be done around me. You and your mother are going to be the only ones who know about the small things that go wrong.
``Someone said a wedding has a life of its own, and it does. It's not going to be perfect, but with attention to detail you're going to make it as close to perfect as you can.''
Tincher should know. The Marriott was so impressed with the appearance of the wedding, and its blending with their decor, they'll be showing LoFaro-Tincher wedding pictures to other couples planning their nuptials.
All prices mentioned in this article are based on information provided and are subject to change.
by CNB