Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: MONDAY, April 10, 1995 TAG: 9504110037
SECTION: EDITORIAL PAGE: A7 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: DONNIE WHEATLEY
DATELINE: LENGTH: Long
That comment created a similar stir here in the Blue Ridge of Virginia. We realized that this attention allows us to tell our story about the role private facilities such as ours play in giving children a sanctuary while their families attempt to get their lives back together.
However, every alumnus I've talked to about Newt's remarks has said two things: ``I wish Gingrich had used another word besides `orphanage,''' and "I'm glad Boys' Home was here when I needed it."
Orphanages haven't been accepted forms of child care for some time now. However, intervention in children's lives is still occurring. I wish I could say that this intervention has improved since the days of orphanages, but I can't.
Until the 1970s, decisions concerning out-of-home placement were made at an early age. Localities seemed more willing to remove a child before severe problems developed. Now, however, the government's child-care philosophy is to wait longer in an effort to "preserve" the family.
As a result, more expensive programs are needed to care for these children, since they have more severe problems coming into out-of-home care.
First off, let me say that I was not a choirboy when I arrived at Boys' Home at the age of 12. It was either Boys' Home or a reformatory by the time social workers caught up with me after a period of living in the streets of Clintwood and sleeping in abandoned cars.
My mother did the best she could with four boys and a girl and no man in the house. She often worked up to 12 hours a day to provide her children with food. With the help of our grandmother, we stayed together until our grandmother died. The responsibility fell to me as my sister quit school and looked for work. I didn't want it, and I ran away for days at a time.
By the time I got to Boys' Home, I was described by peers as so crazy that you didn't want to mess with me. Once you get a reputation like that, of course you have to maintain it.
When I got there, I figured I'd be there six weeks or a few months. I didn't like it at the time because they made me do things I didn't want to do, like accept responsibility for myself. I ended up staying 71/2 years. It turned my life around. Boys' Home was responsible for getting me a scholarship to Virginia Military Institute. As I progressed through the various phases of my life, from earning an MBA, to marrying and having two sons of my own, I came to appreciate just what Boys' Home did for me.
It's more complicated today, however. We firmly believe that at Boys' Home, our program can provide answers before problems get so severe that they require expensive treatment facilities. We are organized to fully support the boy looking to turn his life around. Boys wishing to do so find lots of people willing to advise and help them.
But because of the change in government philosophy in keeping a child with his family as long as possible, Boys' Home takes children now at an average age of 15 and their average stay is two school years. By this time, most prospective residents have used local programs such as foster care and family services without adequate success.
We recently had a 14-year-old who had been in 20 different situations, including foster families and institutions. I wish Boys' Home had gotten him first, to give him more of an opportunity to succeed in life.
As you can imagine, it is difficult to make a lasting impact on a teen-ager in such a short time - especially one who has been through so much. It takes longer than months to replace years of bad decision-making and poor priority-setting.
Imagine the worst scenario that you can and we've seen it here. Some boys have seen parents kill each other. Others have experienced abuse and neglect. It's a shame it takes a crisis before decision-makers move from policy to what's best for the child.
One example is "Sean," who came with his brother to Boys' Home after their foster father, a minister, beat them so badly that they couldn't go to school for a week because of the bruises. His girlfriend's mother, a policewoman, found out what happened and reported the foster family to authorities.
Sean recalls that the minister spent their foster agency stipend on a BMW and two Blazers, which were repossessed after the state had the brothers sent to Boys' Home.
The rector at St. Thomas' in Abingdon discussed the necessity for individuals and churches to assert their role in caring for children. In this climate of decreased funding for child care, many politicians feel that "Someone" should pick up the slack.
The Rev. Vic Thomas wisely observed that he had never met a person named "Someone." Boys' Home is part of Someone's ministry. We exist because people believe in our work and support it. We depend on less than 10 percent government funding. This means 90 percent of our support comes from private sources.
Boys' Home was founded to provide care without a dependence on government funding. Yet, we care for the children who arrive here after extensive government-mandated intervention as well as those coming from families looking for help.
As the nation focuses its attention on the care of children, it is our hope and prayer that a child's needs will be evaluated more closely and decisions will be made at an earlier age in context of the entire family's needs.
In doing so, we can provide children an opportunity to be safe and secure while learning better ways to accept resonsibility for their actions, to make better decisions and to set their sights on a more productive life.
If the decision is made to place the child out of the home, reconciliation can occur when the whole family is equipped to try again.
Until the laws change to focus first on what's best for a child instead of preserving a family that may be unwilling or unable to raise a child, we remember one thing as we look toward a second century of service. Boys' Home will continue to be there as it has for a century, trying to save one boy at a time. But the demand for our type of intervention is growing so quickly that we need more help than ever from people who also want to see the system change.
And by the way, if you want to learn firsthand about residential care for children today, don't watch the movie "Boys Town." Come visit with us. Times have changed.
But not enough. That's why children today still need a place such as Boys' Home.
Donnie Wheatley is executive director of Boys' Home in Covington.
by CNB