
                         Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: FRIDAY, April 28, 1995                   TAG: 9504280027
SECTION: EXTRA                    PAGE: 1   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: NANCY GLEINER
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Short

IT'S A FEMALE THING

At last: a key to the mysteries of what men really mean when they bother to talk at all.

``The Secret Language of Men,'' by Sherrie Weaver, is a primer to translating ``malespeak'' - and it will fit in your purse, for quick reference.

Weaver offers insights into such common responses as (translations in parentheses):

``Hey, I've got my reasons for what I'm doing'' (``And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.'')

``It's a guy thing.'' (``There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.'')

``I don't need to read the instructions.'' (``I'm perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help.'')

``It's just a head cold. I'll be all right. (``After you've waited on me hand and foot for two days.'')

``I'm getting more exercise now.'' ("The batteries in the remote are dead.'')

``Uh huh,'' and ''Sure, honey.'' (Absolutely nothing. A conditioned response like Pavlov's dog drooling.)

Okay, so maybe women don't always say what they mean, either (they just use more words). But a book about the secret language of women would need only one page, reading: ``If you really loved me, you'd know exactly what I meant.''

by CNB