Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: MONDAY, May 22, 1995                   TAG: 9505240032
SECTION: EDITORIAL                    PAGE: A-7   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: MONTY S. LEITCH
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

OBSOLESCENCE

``Well, there were a lot of problems,'' I told her. ``A lot of parts to replace. But everything's fine now. It's up and running. RAM and ROM. In-put, out-put, all that stuff it needs.''

``You're not still using that bullet-proof computer, are you?'' she asked.

By ``bullet-proof computer'' she meant my Kaypro. A big, blue metal suitcase of a thing that was supposed to be portable, 15 years ago, even though it weighed a solid 30 pounds.

Well, it did have a handle on one end. And I could lug it around by that. If I wasn't carrying anything else.

``Good gracious, no,'' I said. ``I have a much newer computer now. A much, much better model.''

``Yes,'' she mused. ``One that takes a mere six weeks to fix.''

``But I look on the bright side,'' I told her. ``If three more parts are replaced on it, it'll be completely new again.''

``And for so much less time and money than a trip to Circuit City would have required!'' she cried.

``Scoff if you will,'' I said. ``It does the job for me.''

There was a lull in the conversation. Then my friend asked, ``Whatever happened to that bullet-proof computer, anyway? It was sorta cute.''

``It's in the barn,'' I said. ``Wrapped up in plastic bags and stuffed in a big box. It still works, if you want it. I have loads of software.''

``What would I do with the thing?'' she said.

``Make book-ends?'' I suggested. ``A coffee table? Or a planter for out by your mailbox!''

``Very funny,'' she said.

``But, you know,'' she continued, after a breath, ``I did see a computer recently in an antiques store.''

``An antiques store!''

``Yes. It had a tag on it that said `Still Works, $60.' What do you think of that?''

``Was it a Kaypro?'' I wanted to know. ``Maybe there's a market out there for my old one after all.''

``No,'' she said. ``Not a Kaypro, I don't think.'' Then she commenced to describing the computer she'd seen in the antiques store. And what she described sounded just like what I currently use. My much newer machine. My much, much better model.

``Are you sure that's what you saw?'' I asked her. ``It really said `IBM'?''

``IBM,'' she said. ``Right there on the front.''

You know, I don't think I've ever been in an antiques store that I haven't heard someone say, with scorn, ``Why, my granny had one of those! Just like that one there! If I'd a'knowed it would bring so much, I'd a'never give it away.''

These remarks usually concern butter churns or Depression glass cake plates, or the shares of hand-held plows. You don't expect them to concern computers.

But haven't you seen old black telephones in antiques stores? And Barbie dolls just like the one you played with as a girl? I've seen cartons of Tinker Toys, the kind my brother had. ``Superman'' comic books, those tall metal drinking glasses that frost instantly, unopened Coca-Colas, platform shoes and McGovern buttons. Computers really shouldn't be a surprise.

``Where was this store, anyway?'' I asked my friend. ``Maybe they would like my Kaypro.''

``It's older than that IBM, I betcha,'' she said.

``I can guarantee it.''

Monty S. Leitch is a Roanoke Times & World-News columnist.