Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: SATURDAY, June 17, 1995 TAG: 9506210074
SECTION: CURRENT PAGE: NRV-3 EDITION: NEW RIVER VALLEY
SOURCE: ADRIANNE BEE
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
Perhaps you failed to read the "How to avoid being bitten" card, courtesy of the local post office - threw it away with the daily junk mail. You may be lucky enough to beat the system, or you may be bitten.
There are rules designed to protect you in the event an animal decides to attack you. If you find yourself facing a bear in the woods, for example, you are not supposed to run. A former resident of Alaska once told me, "It doesn't matter what they tell you. You see a bear, you run."
"Don't run past a dog," reads the card I received in the mail.
I remember my first encounter with a large dog. I, like the proverbial Smurf, was a mere three apples high as I slid yet another community newsletter into a neighbor's door. As I trotted back down the sidewalk, I heard the jangling of a dog tag.
Soon, I was pinned to the ground by a Doberman pinscher. He was only barking, but it was a loud, fierce, warmongering bark. The owner ran outside and apologized, said the dog was just "very friendly." I came out of the canine encounter unscathed - unless you count the sharp, nervous twitch I developed under my left eye whenever I hear dog tags, keys or any type of metal jangling.
Sometimes dogs seem to target innocent victims. For example, my brother went to get the mail one day - at a medium pace, I might add - and as he reached into the box, a curly-haired mongrel named Muffin flew out of nowhere and took a small chunk out of his leg.
My brother screamed, mail flew everywhere, and I learned that even a dog named Muffin can transform into Cujo.
Had my brother read these rules, he would have known, "If a dog threatens you, don't scream. Avoid eye contact, then back away slowly until the dog is out of sight." Does biting constitute a threat? Should you remain calm when being bitten to avoid further bites? The card doesn't specify.
Anyway, the idea of a dog "threatening" you conjures up the image of some shady-looking mutt carefully cutting out letters from magazines, and taping them together on a piece of paper that reads something like, "$5,000 and I destroy the negatives."
Animals aren't always predictable; they don't follow rules. My brother didn't threaten Muffin unless there was something in that mailbox that Muffin didn't want him to see. Hmmm ...
"Don't approach a strange dog," the rules admonish.
Strange - what exactly is strange? My friend's dog, Snuffy, is strange, I suppose. Well, more dumb than strange. He often digs through the trash and emerges with a bread wrapper or similar item covering his head. This doesn't seem to alarm Snuffy, who goes about business as usual. Snuffy also has the uncanny ability to escape injury and withstand great pain. Snuffy has consumed razor blades, nails, even shards of glass and is always OK. He never suffocates from the plastic bread wrappers.
On to the next rule: "Always let a dog see and sniff you before you pet the animal." I was glad to read this; I have always used great stealth and crept up to dogs from behind, careful not to make a sound, grab them by the tail and swing them around to pet them. Now I know to try a different greeting strategy.
People seem to forget common sense when they encounter animals. Perhaps this is because we're inundated with cuddly, fairy-tale animals as children. The first bear we learn about is Winnie the Pooh. He eats honey and is nice as pie to everybody he meets. There's even an environmental activist bear named Smokey. I thought dogs shared spaghetti and got married after watching "Lady and The Tramp."
It seems to boil down to chance - to being in the wrong place at the wrong time when it comes to animal attacks. Remembering a few things, however, will reduce your chances of injury.
So dig those cards out of the trash and commit the rules to memory. Make flashcards and quiz your friends. Asking each other basic safety questions also is a good idea. Example: Should you flail yourself into a pack of wild dingoes when wearing a slab of raw meat?
(Hint: The answer is "no.")
Adrianne Bee is a New River Valley bureau staff writer.
by CNB