Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: WEDNESDAY, June 21, 1995 TAG: 9506220017
SECTION: EDITORIAL PAGE: A-8 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: CAL THOMAS
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
How conservative is Branson? ``It's so conservative that the Methodist Church I belong to would seem like an Assemblies of God anywhere else,'' says Peggy M. Roberts, acting managing editor of the Branson newspaper. ``This is a cuss-free newspaper,'' she says. ``We have to edit some columnists because our readers won't tolerate any profanity, and a few of them use it.''
The cable system in my hotel doesn't carry MTV. Here they don't devour rap music and films that feature blown-out brains, a woman shot at close range in a bubble bath, a rat eaten alive, or random target practice by a 12-year-old girl on Central Park strollers. This is a town that slime forgot. That's why increasing numbers come here for what used to be called wholesome entertainment.
The latest attraction is a showboat called The Branson Belle. It opened in April and already has 94,000 reservations for its three-times-a-day, two-hour meal cruises. On the Belle, a ``premium drink'' means you pay a little extra for a souvenir glass or mug from which you drink your non-alcoholic beverage. (Trying to find a liquor store in Branson is like trying to find good programming on American television.)
Entertainment on the boat is clean and fun. People bring their children and grandchildren without having to worry about having their senses or values assaulted with foul language. Here, it's not considered an embarrassment to express love for the nation.
Peter Herschend, who co-owns some of the biggest attractions in town, including the Belle, theaters and an amusement park called Silver Dollar City, practices a version of the golden rule. He has the gold and so he gets to make the rules. ``Sophisticates'' who deride such things as unrealistic and not reflective of the times in which we live must give an account of the ``reality'' they have imposed on the country.
It doesn't get more risque in Branson than some of the things you find in a flea market, such as a 1967 Saturday Evening Post magazine featuring a story titled, ``Twiggy Speaks on Life and Love.''
Why isn't the life and lifestyle seen in Branson reflected more widely? Did we hold a national referendum and decide that it was better to break up than to stay together; to have one-third of the next generation born out of wedlock; to celebrate violence and vulgarity as the norm? The local news in Washington, D.C., spends up to 10 minutes each night filling me in on the latest crime happenings. Here, a single criminal act is big news. I saw only one police car. It's almost impossible to get a speeding ticket because the roads are so jammed with people eager to consume the nutritious stuff Branson offers that most travel is done at turtle speed.
I think that we arrived at our present moment in America as much by neglect as by design. A garden that is neglected will be overrun with weeds. A culture that is not ``weeded'' soon finds the good life choked off.
Some might laugh at Branson, but the town stands as a rebuke to much of the rest of the nation. Yes, the ``Ozzie and Harriet'' image did not totally reflect the reality of the 1950s, but we once thought it at least worthwhile to set a standard. Even if everyone didn't follow it, many did. Now, we set no standard and are paying the price for it.
Russian comedian Yakov Smirnoff made the choice between two competing ideologies. His red Ferrari convertible was parked outside the Grand Palace Theater in Branson. Its vanity plates read ``X-Red.'' But material things aren't the real message of this little town. Moral things are. You arrive thinking you must be on another planet. You leave feeling clean. What more could one ask from a vacation?
- Los Angeles Times Syndicate
by CNB