Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: TUESDAY, July 25, 1995 TAG: 9507250071
SECTION: VIRGINIA PAGE: C-1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: MATT CHITTUM STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
The flowers on Melody Caldwell's grave at Evergreen Burial Park are now on borrowed time.
Caldwell's mother, Sherry Smith, planted the flowers and has tended them for two years. But during a hearing Monday in Roanoke Circuit Court, Smith said she would allow them to be removed when they die out this season.
Caldwell, who suffered brain damage in a car accident, died in 1993 in a house fire that started in the motor of the hospital bed to which she was confined. She had been home for only four months after a five-year hospital stay.
"It'll be like it's final," Smith sobbed Monday when asked what it will be like if the flowers are removed. "There'll be no Melody left. Everything we had of her burned in the house."
But the impending removal of the flowers brought a sigh of relief from other plot owners who have been urging cemetery manager Don Wilson since December to do something about the flowers.
"We've been tolerant," said Bess Gaut, whose family's headstone is just behind Caldwell's grave. "It's just about time they did this."
Betty Hosp, who owns nine plots in the cemetery, including three on each side of Caldwell's grave, said she chose Evergreen because of its conservative, tasteful appearance. She said she understands Evergreen's need to bend the rules for a while to be respectful of Smith's feelings. But she thinks the management has been taken advantage of.
Last November, Wilson told Smith the flowers around her daughter's grave would have to go because they violated the cemetery's rules, which require a clean, conservative appearance. In mid-June, Wilson sent a letter to Frank Roupas, who donated the plot for Caldwell, advising him that the flowers would be removed June 30.
The day before the flowers were to be removed, Smith's attorney, Dan Crandall, obtained an injunction protecting the flowers for another 30 days so the matter could be heard in court.
During the hearing Monday, Crandall's second witness, the Rev. Charles Green, proposed the compromise. Green, who was the chaplain on duty at Roanoke Memorial Hospital when Caldwell, then 15, was injured in the car accident, said there is a lot of guilt in Smith's grieving. Smith was her daughter's caretaker for five years, and Caldwell died while she was away from the house. Taking care of the flowers is her way of dealing with that guilt, Green said.
He went on to testify that he had spoken with Smith and she was willing to let the flowers go when they die out. And she'll never plant them again.
"It's amazing how she's going to turn her grief off Sept. 1," Hosp said after the hearing.
"She certainly will not be able to turn her grief off," Crandall said later. "She'll grieve on and cherish the moments with the few flowers she will be allowed to have."
As for the date the flowers must be removed, some debate remains.
It appeared that Crandall and Evergreen's attorney, John Copenhaver, agreed on Oct. 1, after Crandall argued that Sept. 1 would be too early for the flowers to die naturally.
Judge Richard Pattisall said that, if Copenhaver would draw up the order, the court would enter it. But Copenhaver, Wilson and others present heard Pattisall mention Sept. 1 and took it to mean that's when the flowers would have to go.
Copenhaver said he's going to write the order with Sept. 1 as the deadline.
Wilson, though, said he was pleased and surprised by Smith's offer and doesn't want the date to become a sticking point.
"If it has to be Oct. 1, so be it," he said.
Smith remained shaken for some time after the hearing. Sitting outside the courtroom, she said she still doesn't understand why she can't have the flowers, but she wanted to do the right thing.
And flowers or no, she'll still be at Melody's grave every day.
by CNB