Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: THURSDAY, August 17, 1995 TAG: 9508170012
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: By BETH MACY STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
You can buy Alice a cup of coffee, and she'll send you a thank-you note in the mail - engraved monogrammed stationery, fancy pen, the works.
My buddy Michelle seems to entertain effortlessly - open house parties for 50 with perfect food, served in beautiful dishes, surrounded by gorgeous art.
Me, I have these good-girl notions that all bills should be paid on time, socks should match, and you really shouldn't inhale. I own a salad spinner, fer crying out loud.
And so naturally an AbFab foursome was forged.
AbFab, in case you've been living in a cave, is short for ``Absolutely Fabulous,'' the smash-hit British sitcom featuring Patsy and Edina - best-friend boozers who stagger, smoke and snide-remark their way through life.
Edina is so incorrigible that she blows out her 40th-birthday cake candles with a fire extinguisher - never mind that her 16-year-old daughter spent hours laboring over it.
Fearing that old age will turn her into a ``toothless wad of gum on the floor,'' Edina imagines the first hot flash of menopause already upon her, raising the back of her hand to her forehead in a Scarlet-like sweat.
``You're standing too close to the boiling kettle,'' her daughter snaps.
Patsy, a former model with Drag Queen-style hair, carries home-pregnancy tests in her purse and routinely smokes more than one cigarette at a time. ``Your head has been lolling around like a bladder on a stick,'' Edina tells her.
Two women being very naughty.
Two women falling down stairs and out of cars, suffering slapstick with a capital S.
Edina and Patsy are the Lucy and Ethel of the '90s - staggering through bars instead of grape pits, snorting cocaine instead of snorting a laugh.
Why do we like these Bad Girls so much?
``Because they're raunchy and they say everything we'd wanna say but don't,'' Julie says.
``Because it's really funny to be able to laugh at stuff that we know truly is not funny,'' Michelle adds. ``It's a wicked thing to be falling-down drunk and say whatever's on your mind.''
And because Jennifer Saunders, who plays Edina and writes the show, had the good sense to call it quits before it lost its edge - after just 12 episodes. Re-runs air on Comedy Central Monday nights at 8; videos of all the shows are being released this week.
Roseanne (formerly Barr and Arnold, but now simply Roseanne) has bought the rights to produce an American version of the show. But my AbFab clique doubts she'll be able to replicate its Anglo-heavy charm.
``Americans cannot be this shameless,'' Michelle says. ``They'll have to tone it down.''
She can't imagine someone like, say, Kirstie Alley, barking a threat like the one Edina gave her mother: ``I'm starting repressed-memory therapy soon. And I'll get something on you yet.''
I like the fact that ``AbFab'' is the rare show where the women get to crack the jokes. I like the fact that Edina wears clothes that accentuate, not hide, her middle-aged flab.
And I like the fact that, for a few minutes each week, you get to be dangerously un-PC. It's the Virtual Reality version of swearing, drinking and being oh-so-very-bad.
Seriously, after my three-hour AbFab session with the girls, I'm thinking of paying a bill or two late this month. Maybe even bouncing a check.
In fact, at this very minute I'm considering putting on my reddest lipstick and my new get-down cowboy boots and going for a cruise down Williamson Road.
In my boxy station wagon. The one with the kid car-seat in back, the air bag in front, and the multiple plastic McKidsmeal toys strewn about.
Sometimes a girl needs a little danger in her life.
by CNB