Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: MONDAY, August 28, 1995 TAG: 9508280135
SECTION: EDITORIAL PAGE: A-5 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: MONTY S. LEITCH
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
This article reported on a few of the calls fielded daily by the Smithsonian's telephone information services.
Such as the one above. (The answer is ``no.'')
Also, ``What should I do about this mastodon in the back yard?'' (Answer: ``We'll send someone out to dig it up.'')
And, ``Who invented the wheel?'' (If you know the answer to this one, the Smithsonian has a job for you.)
And, ``Does the Smithsonian exhibit any Civil War-era airplanes?''
According to the article, the Smithsonian might publish a book in 1996 with its 150 most interesting questions. If you'd like to make your contribution, you can call them at (202) 357-2700.
Actually, I do have a few questions that I'd like answered. For instance:
Why do squirrels keep coming to the bird-feeder on my window, even though I haven't put any seed in it for about two months now?
You bird feeders out there know that squirrels are persistent critters. They'll outwit you at the drop of a hat.
My uncle, after having to move his bird-feeder from under the trees so a big ol' grey squirrel would stop flying over to it, put a wide aluminum guard around the feeder's metal pole. That squirrel chewed right through the guard! Little bitty pieces of chewed-up aluminum strewn all over the grass.
Maybe I should ask the Smithsonian instead: Are there any methods known to man or woman (but not to squirrel) for keeping squirrels off birdfeeders?
A couple of other things I'd like to know:
What's the reason for groundhogs?
What's the reason for poison ivy?
What's the reason for Newt Gingrich?
How do you know black snakes keep away the copperheads?
Why can't anyone take a good picture of me?
I'd also like to know the story behind a snapshot I found at the dumpster this week. It's a picture of the lot in front of someone's cinderblock garage, and in that lot stands an elegant, white church steeple.
Apparently, this snapshot was taken some time ago: There are no leaves on the trees in the background. So I'd like to think that the steeple no longer stands forlornly on the ground by someone's garage, but that it now graces the top of the church for which it was intended.
But who knows? Maybe someone at the Smithsonian?
And who knows why this snapshot was thrown away? Granted, it's not a very artistic shot. The photographer arranged it on the horizontal, thereby getting a full view of the garage, but cutting off bits of both ends of the steeple.
Still, for someone, this must have marked a momentous occasion. The completion of the steeple! Or maybe: The arrival of the steeple! Or, better yet: The appearance of the steeple! Set down there, overnight, by heavenly messengers.
Which suggests another question that someone should probably ask them at the Smithsonian.
Are there really angels?
And, if there are, what do they think of all this angel ballyhoo?
Monty S. Leitch is a Roanoke Times columnist.
by CNB