Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: SUNDAY, September 17, 1995                   TAG: 9509150038
SECTION: BUSINESS                    PAGE: G-3   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: CAMILLE WRIGHT MILLER
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

KEEP THE 'SPOKES' OF YOUR LIFE IN BALANCE

A: Donna R. Tyson, a Roanoke native and founder of D.R. Tyson Management, tells audiences to envision themselves as wheels with six spokes. Each spoke represents a dimension of their lives to be developed and kept strong.

The six dimensions are career, social, physical, financial, spiritual and emotional. Tyson, now of Fredricksburg, believes that "each spoke is crucial to holding the wheel's shape and balance. Strong spokes allow the wheel [our lives] to withstand pressure, whenever it hits in life." According to Tyson, "Each spoke must be strong or the wheel will break" under pressure on any one spoke.

Tyson suggests that no spoke should get too much attention at the expense of others. For example, "workaholics" eventually burn out and fail because other spokes in their lives are weak. Physical and emotional health may fail through lack of attention, causing one to fail in a career.

Draw a six-spoke wheel, label each spoke, and consider how well you're attending to each dimension. How are you meeting social needs? Physical needs (nutrition, exercise, medical)? Emotional needs? Spiritual needs? Financial needs? Career needs?

Where you find a weak spoke, create a plan to strengthen that dimension without neglecting the others. You'll enjoy the career and personal benefits that come from leading a balanced life.

Once you act on your plan, let your supervisor know you've taken his advice to heart. Good supervisors understand the need for balance and encourage self-development. Your efforts likely will be rewarded beyond your own development.

Q: A co-worker of mine talks about her female cycle and how she's feeling during that time. She also shares other personal information that I don't want to know. The other men in my office are equally uncomfortable with these personal discussions.

A: Deal only with your relationship with her; let your co-workers handle their relationships with her on their own.

The next time an inappropriate topic comes up say, "I appreciate that you feel comfortable discussing this with me. I know you'll understand that I'm uncomfortable with that subject. I'd feel better if I wasn't included in really personal discussions."

Then change the subject with a business-related question, such as, "By the way, do you know where the Emerson file is?''

Using assertiveness skills, you want to state the problem and desired outcome in a nonthreatening way. Following up with a neutral and appropriate topic can minimize the emotional impact. Be prepared for a defense from your co-worker. If one follows, restate your wishes, then excuse yourself to work on a project. You may have to repeat the scenario several times before the message is received.

By addressing the problem, you'll help your co-worker develop a better professional self and you'll save yourself uncomfortable moments.

Q: I've applied for jobs that eventually were filled by someone else. Only a few times have I received a rejection letter. Have companies done away with this courtesy? If so, how am I supposed to know when to stop hoping for an interview?

A: Unfortunately, many companies have stopped sending rejection letters. It is unfortunate for both the applicant and the company.

For the applicant, it means allowing a false sense of hope to continue after the position is filled. For the company, it's poor public relations.

Corporate courtesy is inexpensive and truly enhances a company's image in the community. The fault lies with the company, not the applicants.

When applying for a job, note the application deadline. Call the individual in charge of the hiring and ask if you are a likely candidate. If not, call when the interviews are concluded and ask if a decision has been made. If so, thank the individual. If a decision hasn't been made, ask if the search will be reopened and if you can be considered in the next round.

Your persistence demonstrates interest in the position. Additionally, your tenacity may prompt some hiring officers to notify applicants of their status - a good business practice for all concerned.