Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: TUESDAY, September 19, 1995                   TAG: 9509190024
SECTION: CURRENT                    PAGE: NRV-2   EDITION: NEW RIVER VALLEY 
SOURCE: ADRIANNE BEE STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: BLACKSBURG                                LENGTH: Medium

`A' IS FOR AUTHOR; 'F' IS FOR FUN

In moments, Jerry Pallotta had his audience captivated. Seated Indian-style in rows, the children giggled non-stop for the next hour.

Pallotta is the author of 17 books including such favorites as "The Icky Bug Counting Book," "The Dinosaur Alphabet Book" and "The Yucky Reptile Alphabet Book." His books have sold quite well and he has a large following.

If his writing ever did fall through, however, Pallotta could always take his act on the road and do stand-up at toy stores and Chuck-E-Cheese restaurants.

He makes thunder and lightning sounds in the microphone, imitates the squishy sound of stepping on a jellyfish, and wiggles back and forth to demonstrate the gait of a crab on a beach. Hard to imagine this man as an insurance salesman in Boston. That was Pallotta's occupation before he was inspired by reading to his four children and by memories of his own childhood at Massachusetts' Peggotty Beach. Now he writes children's books.

"Blacksburg's pretty far from the beach," Pallotta said Thursday as he held up his first book, "The Ocean Alphabet Book." The children concurred with "yeahs" and nods of their heads. Pallotta showed slides of the pictures in his ocean book along with photographs of a starfish on his head (many laughs followed) and a whale washed ashore with large bite marks.

"What do you think did that?" he asked.

"A shark" a handful of children yelled.

"Nope, I think it was a kindergartner who got real hungry," Pallotta said.

Pallotta leaves the illustrations in his books to one of seven artists he has commissioned in the past. "You know why?" he asked. "Because if I drew them I'd get a lot of letters from you like: 'Dear Jerry, That crab you painted looks like a flower' or 'Dear Jerry, That tree looks like a school bus.'"

Then it was on to the subject of lobsters. How do you pick one up? Pallotta scooped a boy up out of the audience to demonstrate, twirled him around, and then explained the differences between a boy and a lobster.

"They have antennas like this," Pallotta said as he grabbed two sections of the boy's hair and raised them in the air. "They have pincers," he explained as he divided five small fingers into a Vulcan greeting.

Then Pallotta pulled out some real lobster claws and said with glee "I think we should bite one of the kids." Three brave youngsters stepped forward and Pallotta clipped claws onto their noses and arms.

Pallotta then called up teacher Linda Smith and told her to close her eyes. He pulled out a claw from what must have been a kid-sized lobster and asked the children if he should use it to "bite" the unsuspecting teacher. Needless to say, hands shot up sky-high and the children screamed affirmatively.

The comedy bit went over splendidly. "My favorite part was when he pinched Mrs. Smith's nose," Anna Barrow, a first grader, whispered after the assembly ended.

Pallotta also demonstrated, via a blond girl named Emily, the advantages of possessing a large claw for a hand. Were Emily born with claws, he said, "If anyone was mean or stole Emily's pencil, she could say 'Give it back or I'll bite your head off.'"

Soon the time came to write what Pallotta called "The Kids from Virginia Alphabet Book." He called for an "A kid" to come forward and up went Alexander. Then Brittany, Calvin and eventually Zachary. All letters were represented except for "Q." Pallotta deemed a girl named Katherine unqualified just as he turned down a Bobby for the letter "O" spot. (A teacher named Ms. Oliver saved the day and stood in).

"If anyone has a name that starts with X, I'll give you a free book," Pallotta challenged his audience. A girl named Xiewn went home with a free book.

It's not always easy coming up with something to represent every letter in the alphabet. The letter "X" apparently stumped Pallotta in his ocean book. "Do you know a fish that starts with 'X'?" he asked the children. Someone from the audience offered up "Trout!" Luckily the scientific name for swordfish saved the day on that page.

"Why don't you write a book about penguins?" asked one student. Pallotta replied that he didn't think there are enough penguins to make a book but that he did find 3,000 different frogs for "The Frog Alphabet Book."

Two first graders, Andrew Squire and Jason Borne, said they are anxious to get some of Pallotta's books. They have been reading them in their class.

The last part of Pallotta's talk (he does about 150 a year across the country) was an impromptu alphabet performance. Food? He named apple pie - eggs and at "F" suggested "fried eyeballs."

"Eeeeeew!" the children murmured.

Pallotta suggested an alphabet book about school to a student named Calvin. "Apple, bus, chalkboard ... " When Pallotta suggested girls for the letter "G," Calvin crinkled up his face in pre-pubescent disgust for the opposite sex and said "No, make it 'Mortal Combat.'"