Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: WEDNESDAY, September 27, 1995                   TAG: 9509270015
SECTION: EXTRA                    PAGE: 1   EDITION: METRO 
SOURCE: BEN BEAGLE
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

INSPIRATION FOR BAD BEHAVIOR

I have in mind here a recent report that at least 30 couples have been married at or on covered bridges in Madison County, Iowa, this past year.

This strange behavior was inspired by "The Bridges of Madison County," a mercifully short little book that made millions and gave us the unusual pairing - if you catch my drift - of Meryl Streep and Clint Eastwood in a movie of the same name.

It's probably not for me to wonder if those 30 couples who married at the bridges recalled that the book is largely about some very heavy hanky-panky that occurs between a farm wife and a photographer while the farmer is elsewhere. A kind of refined traveling salesman joke.

Anyway, look for some of the these people to turn up on one of those talk shows that frequently become violent or worse.

On today's show: "Tillie and Tungsten were married on a covered bridge but now Tungsten has taken up with Tanya, Tillie's half sister, who has never been anywhere near Iowa and dresses real sexy."

I personally think it serves Tillie right for being dumb enough to get married on or at a covered bridge. Not a whole lot of Rhodes Scholars or Mensa people do that.

There it is, though. A book about a farm wife jumping in and out of the sack with a relative stranger has become an American classic.

Honest. It stands right up there with the O.J. Simpson trial as an inspiration for odd behavior.

We all know that some of the bridge people are now talking legalese because of the Simpson trial.

"Good morning, Candy, I would like to make an offer of proof of my love for you and move that you stipulate you are similarly situated."

"I'm taking that one under submission, pal. Where were you last night until all hours? We need an evidentiary hearing out of the presence of the jury. No. You may not approach."

"But, sweet lips, I am merely attempting to build a foundation here upon which I will then offer probative evidence that I was out with the boys and not with the bimbo down the street."

"You're in contempt. Write me a check for $250 before you leave this kitchen."

Oh. I forgot to mention there really is a covered bridge festival out there in Iowa.

I assume a concert of cheatin' songs is one of the main events.