Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: SUNDAY, October 1, 1995 TAG: 9510020089
SECTION: CURRENT PAGE: NRV3 EDITION: NEW RIVER VALLEY
SOURCE: BETTY HAYDEN STAFF WRITER
DATELINE: ELLISTON LENGTH: Medium
What he overheard apparently left an impression on the 69-year-old Bryant because he's spent his life in the funeral business.
"The word mortician was a fascinating word to me," he said. That fascination led Bryant to find work with a funeral home when he was 21 and eventually graduate from mortician school.
Some 39 years ago this October, Bryant and his wife, Audrey, bought a funeral home in Elliston that had recently closed. Today, Bryant Funeral Home handles 30 to 50 funerals a year.
Bryant still recalls many of the families he's served by name and remembers details from many of the funerals he's handled.
His first funeral was for the grandfather of local race car driver Ronnie Thomas.
He says the deaths of two teen-age brothers, in separate accidents, affected him personally because they had been close friends of his son.
Of one boy's funeral he said, "That was one of the hardest caskets I ever closed."
Also difficult for Bryant were the funerals of his parents because other family members looked to him for support and trusted him to make all the arrangements.
"I was on both sides of the desk."
It's evident that Bryant enjoys his work - he takes pride in knowing that he can comfort people after the loss of a loved one.
"You've got to know how to work with practically all kinds of people," he said.
George Penn, 48, also got interested in the funeral service business at an early age. He saw funeral directors in action and how important their jobs were.
But, unlike Bryant, Penn didn't enter the field until he was in his 30s. He opened Penn's Funeral Home in Pulaski 10 years ago with his brother, who is a doctor in Surry. Penn directs 35 to 40 funerals a year.
He says he felt called to be a funeral director.
"You have to have a love and a concern for people," Penn said. "You have to show understanding and a passion for those who are grieving.
"You have to know how to not just sympathize but empathize."
Penn tries to console families the best he can, but he recommends counseling for families who have trouble overcoming their grief.
"Death is an unexplained phenomenon, and it just brings doubt and confusion into a household when it comes."
He also relies on his Christian beliefs when trying to uplift the families he serves.
"There's no way a mortician could function without a strong belief in the Almighty. He gets me through," Penn said, adding that he gets to work with some of the best ministers in the area.
The most rewarding part of his job, he said, is seeing families accept what has happened and begin to deal with their loss.
For Buddy McCoy, 63, entering the funeral service business turned out to be a mid-career change. He worked in management in the electronics field, but at 43, he decided his job wasn't leading anywhere.
He likes to work with people and help them in times of need - he served as a deacon at Community Christian Church in McCoy - and he thought funeral service would be more satisfying than the electronics field.
Six years after leaving his management job, McCoy bought a Blacksburg funeral service that had been in business since 1942 and renamed it McCoy Funeral Home. His operation is larger than Bryant's and Penn's, with approximately 160 funerals a year.
McCoy said the most important part of his job is comforting the families and getting them "down out of an emotional state so they can make decisions."
Sometimes, McCoy has to put aside his own emotions before he can do his job.
He is still saddened by the death of a 36-year-old man and his 9-year-old daughter who were killed in a 1993 car accident in Longshop. He knew both victims, and their youth made the funeral even more difficult.
"He was just beginning his life," McCoy said.
Through the years, McCoy has learned to keep his feelings under control.
"You just have to detach yourself from the grief and concern yourself with the details," he said. "Once you block it, it stays blocked. You have to do it, or you'd be as emotional as the family.
"It takes everything you've got to hold back sometimes," McCoy said. "You stay on the up to keep everybody else up."
People grieve in different ways, but most people benefit from the company of friends and family, which is why visitation nights are so important, he said.
"The friends surrounding them and talking with them make a difference."
McCoy also thinks being a funeral director is a calling, and that not everybody can do it.
"You have to have compassion for people at their very worst times."
by CNB