
                         Roanoke Times
                 Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.

DATE: SATURDAY, October 28, 1995                   TAG: 9510300006
SECTION: CURRENT                    PAGE: NRV-8   EDITION: NEW RIVER VALLEY 
SOURCE: M.J. DOUGHERTY
DATELINE:                                 LENGTH: Medium

ARE YOU A `HIGH-TECH REDNECK'? CHECK THIS LIST

The annual gridiron showdown between Virginia Tech and the West Virginia University Mountaineers usually spawns more than its share of bad Hokie jokes and West Virginia tales.

This year, however, instead of delighting you with the worst of these, we found a new breed of joke floating out there on the Internet that just might apply to a few Hokies and Mountaineers alike.

So, courtesy of the Internet, here's a new checklist. You qualify as a "high-tech redneck":

If you have old computers up on blocks in the front yard.

If your e-mail address ends in "over.yonder.com."

If you connect to the World Wide Web via a "Down Home Page."

If the bumper sticker on your truck says "My other computer is a laptop."

If your laptop has a sticker that says "Protected by Smith and Wesson."

If you wire your network with jumper cables.

If you've ever doubled the value of your truck by installing a cellular phone.

If your baseball cap reads "DEC" instead of "CAT."

If your computer is worth more than all your cars combined.

If your wife ever said either she or the computer had to go, and you still don't miss her.

If you've ever used a CD-ROM as a coaster to set your beer on.

If you ever refer to your computer as "Ole Bessy."

If your screen saver is a bitmap image of your favorite truck, tractor or farm animal.

If you start all your e-mails with the words "Howdy y'all."

by CNB