Roanoke Times
Copyright (c) 1995, Landmark Communications, Inc.
DATE: MONDAY, November 27, 1995 TAG: 9511270094
SECTION: EDITORIAL PAGE: A5 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: MONTY S. LEITCH
DATELINE: LENGTH: Medium
So far, here's what ``multi-tasking'' means to me: playing Windows '95 solitaire for 45 minutes while I'm on hold, via speaker phone, waiting for the ``Computer Help Line'' to pick up.
Never mind which computer help line. These folks are very sweet once I do get through. But so far, they haven't solved my problem.
Now, I have copies of most of the ``*.* for Dummies'' books that have been written. (Those of you who've read ``DOS For Dummies,'' as I have, will know that ``*.*'' stands in for ``everything possible.'') I've even read these books.
``DOS for Dummies,'' ``Windows for Dummies,'' ``Windows '95 for Dummies.'' The best parts are those chapters headed ``Stuff Everybody Thinks You Already Know.''
There's a lot of stuff in these chapters. There's a lot of these ``stuff'' chapters.
Still, I'm getting really good at solitaire.
There must be something else that everybody thinks I know, that I don't know, that isn't even in these chapters.
This new computer is my third. My first, bought around 1981, still works. It's in the barn.
But having it is rather like having a really good Model-T. It may still run, but you can't take it out on the interstate.
My second computer lasted a good seven or eight years, with only a couple of repairs. That's probably a couple of centuries, in computer years.
Then, a month or so ago, it started making this funny little squealing sound.
``When they do that,'' my computer repairman said, ``it's usually the motherboard.''
I don't know what a motherboard is - something like the universal in the car? something like the transmission? - but I'd already replaced it once.
So when my repairman advised, ``Get a new one,'' I had to agree.
Still, I felt as though I'd lost my right hand.
``If you'd never had a computer in the first place,'' a friend consoled me, ``you wouldn't be missing that dead one now.''
That's true.
But this is The Computer Age. Some time after The Ice Age, after The Middle Age, after The Gilded Age.
What's a person to do?
When I bought my second computer, the saleswoman told me, ``You'll be amazed at how much faster you can work. You won't believe it.''
I said, ``Just make sure you've shown me how to turn it on.''
That's in there among the stuff everybody thinks you already know: the location of the ``On'' button. They're not labeled, you know.
I know more now. I can sling around 20 or 30 words in Computer and sound as if I know what I mean. When I shopped for this machine, I strode confidently into computer stores. I said, ``I want 16 megs of RAM.'' I said, ``I want a 14.4 internal FAX/modem and at least 1.2 gigs on the hard drive.'' I didn't even ask about the ``On'' button this time. I asked about software instead.
And here I sit: on hold again, playing solitaire, the speaker phone at the ready, waiting to get through to the Computer Gurus in hyperspace, so I can ask - for the third time! - ``How do you turn it on?''
Multi-tasking is really increasing my productivity. It really, really is. So much faster! You wouldn't believe it! How did I ever get along without this machine?
Monty S. Leitch is a Roanoke Times columnist.
by CNB