ROANOKE TIMES 
                      Copyright (c) 1995, Roanoke Times

DATE: Monday, December 18, 1995              TAG: 9512180047
SECTION: EDITORIAL                PAGE: A-8  EDITION: METRO 

BLAINE SHE SANG A SONG OF SNIFFLES

VIVIAN BLAINE was no superstar. Her Broadway shows and movies were mostly forgettable. But to many fortysomethings and fiftysomethings, she was nonetheless legendary - as Miss Adelaide, in ``Guys and Dolls.'' She was the quintessential, long-suffering single girl trying to drag her boyfriend, gambler Nathan Detroit, to the altar.

And with crumpled hanky always at the ready, it seemed she had discovered the cause, if not the cure, of the common cold. From her signature song, "Adelaide's Lament," which most people nowadays would regard as politically as well as medically incorrect:

The av'rage unmarried female basically insecure Due to some long frustration may react

With psychosomatic symptoms difficult to endure Affecting the upper respiratory tract.

In other words, just from waiting around for that plain little band of gold, A person can develop a cold.

You can spray wherever you figure the stretococci lurk, You can give her a shot of whatever she's got - but it just won't work.

If she's tired of getting the fisheye from the hotel clerk, A person can develop a cold.

And furthermore, just from stalling and stalling and stalling the wedding trip, A person can develop LaGrippe.

The female remaining single just in the legal sense Shows a neurotic tendency. So Note:

Chronic organic syndromes toxic or hypertense Involving the eye, the ear and the nose and throat.

In other words, just from worrying whether the wedding is on or off, A person can develop a cough. ...

Blaine, 74, died Dec. 9. She was being treated for pneumonia.

LENGTH: Short :   41 lines