ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1995, Roanoke Times
DATE: Wednesday, December 27, 1995 TAG: 9512270049
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: JIM VERTUNO KNIGHT-RIDDER/TRIBUNE
Christmas was great. Everybody enjoyed their presents. The food was good and you found enough room in the house for your visiting relatives who migrated in for the holidays.
But maybe late in the evening a casual discussion over coffee erupted into an all-out war among family members. Or maybe the bills for holiday gifts are already arriving and you've overspent. Or perhaps your visiting relatives start hinting that they want to stay a few more weeks.
Depressed? Welcome to the club.
The winter holiday season causes short-term depression for about 43 percent of Americans, says Charles Figley, a Florida State University professor of family therapy and expert on post-traumatic stress disorder.
``It happens to a lot of us and for a lot of reasons,'' Figley said. ``If you recognize what's happening to you and that it happens to other people as well it can be easier to deal with.''
Figley said this kind of holiday depression is different from the clinical form of depression that may require therapy and even chemical treatment. Figley said holiday depression can cause short-term low energy levels, low motivation, and fewer highs and lows emotionally (jokes aren't as funny as usual or crying during a sad movie isn't as satisfying).
What causes the holiday funk varies from person to person. But Figley points out some common causes among most people who feel a little low this time of year. People get depressed when:
Winter holidays remind them of a lost relative or previous bad experience associated with this time of year. Figley said sad memories can cause the deepest holiday depression.
``I would almost call it a trauma experience. Maybe nine years ago someone's dad died around Christmas and the holiday brings back those memories. Even a divorce that becomes associated with a holiday can cause something like this,'' Figley said.
He said talking with a good friend can help you handle depressing memories. Find a good listener with whom you can discuss sad feelings.
Family relationship rivalries explode during winter holidays. ``The thing about families is that they often bring together people who, if not for birth or marriage, would never associate with each other,'' Figley said.
Figley said it is important to remember from the beginning of a visit that you and your relatives may not always agree on everything. Keeping a level head is the key to dealing with extended family.
``Just remember to be civil,'' he said.
Relatives wear out their welcome and still don't leave.
A visit can usually last only so long without a disagreement, even among the closest of families. Figley said it's important for the guest to help the host in this situation. He suggests that guests should do something special for their host to show their appreciation for the hospitality.
``The guest should think doing something that will say `thanks,''' Figley said.
Now you know you're depressed. What can be more depressing than that? Figley says not to worry. Remember this is a seasonal thing.
``The best part about all of this is that it passes as the holidays do. It's only temporary.''
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