ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Monday, January 8, 1996 TAG: 9601100102
SECTION: EDITORIAL PAGE: A-5 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: MONTY S. LEITCH
THE OTHER day, I met a friend at her office in the city so we could go to lunch. But she was on the phone when I arrived.
And she was saying, "If that doesn't work, call Bert. If you can't find Bert, try Ernie. One of them will know what to do."
She hung up her phone, shaking her head. "A new computer system. They put it in over Christmas and said it would save us so much time, but everyone's having trouble with it."
"Except Bert?" I asked her. "And Ernie?"
"Sure," she said. "The tech guys. You know, the ones with the plastic pencil pockets in their shirts. Every office has their Bert and Ernie these days."
"Bert and Ernie?" I asked again.
She said, "We're late for lunch." |nn| Now, this is a true story.
A couple of years ago, a man I know who rents an office in Radford needed some carpet replaced. There'd been a leak. So this man called his landlord, and his landlord arranged with a local firm to have a couple of repairmen sent over.
On the appointed day, the repairmen arrived. And they were the type of repairmen who cause secretaries and bosses to exchange bemused, uneasy looks. Which this man and his secretary did.
The repairmen set to work in the back, banging and grunting and muttering under their breaths, causing the man and his secretary to exchange another look, and finally prompting the secretary to whisper, "Larry, Darryl and Darryl." An assessment so accurate, so appropriate, that the man had to chew on his lips to keep from laughing out loud.
A little while later, one of the repairmen - and both were just boys, really - came out from the back of the office to ask the secretary if he could use the phone.
"Of course," she said.
He dialed.
And when his party answered, he said, "Darryl? Hey. This is Larry."
All of a sudden, that secretary got very busy - very, very busy - with some papers on her desk.
I swear, it's a true story. |nn| I get the oil in my car changed at an establishment in Christiansburg run by Lonnie and Mark. For really big automotive problems, I seek out Willie Wayne and Eloise.
If some part of our house cracks open, Calvin's the man I want to see. And when it comes to plumbing, I want to talk to a Mike or a Joe or a Bennie.
But Bert and Ernie? I suppose they're nice enough fellas, but "the tech guys"? |nn| Now, you may be wondering, "What's her point?"
Public service.
That's my point. For, somewhere out there in Reader Land, languishes a graduate student in need of a thesis topic. Which I have just provided: "A Geographical and Statistical Study of Sociological Attitudes Toward First Names, Correlated on the Basis of Factors Relating to Trust and Recognition."
I would be particularly pleased to learn that the graduate student whom I've helped is called "Bubba." Better yet, "Sugar" or "Tammy." Y'all just let me know what you find out. I'll report on it right here.
Monty S. Leitch is a Roanoke Times columnist.
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