ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Sunday, January 14, 1996 TAG: 9601120007
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 10 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: ASSOCIATED PRESS
Robert Hickerson, a 45-year-old truck driver, is tired of environmentalists subverting the logging and timber industries. His contribution: ``I love (heart) spotted owls fried in Exxon oil!''
``Happiness is seeing your boss' picture on the back of a milk carton'' is the slogan on McDonald's employee Michele Davis' car. It's about a former boss. She adds quickly: ``He would just die if he saw this on the back of my car.''
James A. Watson is a sales clerk who, says Carol Gardner author of ``Bumper Sticker Wisdom: America's Pulpit Above the Tailpipe," ``has pulled himself up by his own bootstraps time and time again and ... is strongly critical of others who have not done the same.''
His sticker: ``I fight poverty - I work.''
Rose Hill of Portland, Ore., sports a sticker: ``I'm the proud parent of a Grant High School honor student.'' On the next page is Bev Sokol's rejoinder, ``My kid beat up your honor student.'' Finally comes graphic designer Matt Ercegs: ``My son knocked up your honor roll student.''
In the book, 73-year-old retired car repairman Harry W. Sublett's ``Rush Is Right'' is right next to 29-year-old newspaper distributor Jon Jacob's ``Rush Is Reich.''
Says Sublett: ``I listen to him every day.''
Says Jacob: ``Someone needs to say, `I think he's stupid.'''
Sixteen-year-old high school student Scott Yaeger's car declares that ``Suicide in Kansas Is Redundant.'' He moved West.
``In Kansas,'' he says, ``you're just stuck in the middle.''
Many of the stickers dance between suggestive and downright sexual. Nicolle Green, a 19-year-old college student, has this on her bumper: ``Good cowgirls keep their calves together.''
``Guys at gas stations love it,'' she says. It's not clear whether that's good or bad.
Then there's Bill Blackwell, a former moonshiner whose favorite movie is ``Gone With the Wind.'' He reads Civil War books and his sticker reads, almost predictably, ``Wallace for President.''
``He was there for the people down South,'' was all Blackwell had to say on the matter.
Michelle Roehm, 26, director of children's books for a publishing company, asks for participation from fellow drivers. ``Honk Once If You're Jesus, Twice If You're Elvis,'' hers says.
``A lot of people honk,'' she says. ``I love the people who honk twice - I mean, if you think you're Elvis, more power to you. But the people who honk just once kind of freak me out.''
LENGTH: Medium: 61 linesby CNB