ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Tuesday, February 13, 1996 TAG: 9602130051
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: Beth Macy
SOURCE: BETH MACY
In the beginning there was the near-blizzard snowstorm of January.
Which caused the ensuing heavy rains to turn to flood.
Which caused the sewer rat to search for higher ground.
Which caused him to crawl through the bridge-party hostess's toilet, into her bathroom and behind her wastebasket.
Which caused one of the bridge guests, who was searching for relief, to pause.
Which caused the rat to squeal.
Which caused the eight ladies to shriek.
Which caused the hostess to call her husband home from work.
Which caused the brave warrior, in his suit and tie, to wield a board and a stick.
Which caused quite a commotion as the six-inch rat was being pummeled to death.
Which caused the warrior to display his kill proudly - in a clear plastic coffee jar, in front of the ladies.
Which caused the monthly Grandin Court gathering, now in its 15th year, to break for a lunch of sandwiches, chocolate pie and congealed salad.
Which was followed by more hands of bridge, during which the hostess played rather poorly.
Which caused her further embarrassment and strife.
Which caused her to vow to always turn the light on and look carefully before sitting, and to keep the toilet lid closed (though, alas, she doubts her husband will.)
And to never, ever host a bridge party following a flood that follows a near-blizzard snowstorm in January again.
Richard Skaar hangs out sometimes at Salem's Longwood Park, where he occasionally runs into a few other stay-at-home fathers.
He has done the neighborhood play group thing, where he and seven other parents - all moms - take turns watching each other's kids.
He regularly chauffeurs his 13-year-old twin girls to soccer and softball games, and to their after-school tutoring sessions. He recalls, not very fondly, the days when he used to have to drive his youngest daughter, now 4, around the neighborhood in her car seat - just to get her to fall asleep.
He routinely has supper fixed when his pharmacist wife, Paula, returns home from work every night. And it is he who cleans the toilets, though not very well, he concedes.
He called last week to comment on my column about John Duckworth, the stay-at-home father who has the doctor-wife, the two wonderful kids, the housekeeper and the country-club golf membership.
``I don't want to sound resentful, but as a stay-at-home father, he doesn't represent many people,'' says Skaar, 37, of Roanoke County. ``I want to live his lifestyle.''
For instance? ``A housekeeper would be great!''
Contrary to popular opinion, he says, ``I do do the housekeeping here.''
He says he doesn't have to endure as many wisecracks as Duckworth hears, except from his mother. ``My parents usually bring it up on the phone. It's usually, `Have you gotten a job yet?'
``I guess being their son, they had all these expectations for me - and raising kids isn't as valued'' as excelling in the workplace, he explains.
While his wife continues to gain prestige in her career, he rarely gets credit for the work he puts into his daughters, such as supervising homework. ``When things happen - like my daughters getting excellent grades - they don't realize there was effort put into it.''
Most of the snide comments he hears from other men ``are implying that I don't do anything,'' he adds. ``I think there's a lot of resentment toward people'' who don't get paid for their work.
``Guys tell me, `I'd love to stay home and golf every day.'
``Well, me, too.''
A column I wrote last week on the trendy sleep aid melatonin may have mistakenly given the impression that I endorse taking the hormone, though I explicitly wrote that long-term research on its side effects has not been completed.
One reader, a woman in her 30s, called to report that depression-prone people can be deeply affected by the supplement.
``People who have insomnia tend to be depressed, and I'm afraid that some people will take it and find themselves really, really sick,'' she said, adding that she experienced a depressive reaction to melatonin.
LENGTH: Medium: 84 linesby CNB