ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Sunday, February 18, 1996 TAG: 9602200101
SECTION: HOMES PAGE: D1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: KEREN MAHONEY JONES PROVIDENCE JOURNAL
THERE is a certain sensibility necessary if one is to survive living with roommates.
This sensibility is the ability to navigate through delicate territory and remain sane. Experience defines delicate territory as that which includes (but is not limited to) matters pertaining to food and cleaning.
Like many people, I passed through the roommate years of my early 20s, living with friends in situations very unlike ``Friends.'' (We were not perfect, we did have real jobs with real and rotten schedules.)
When I got married, naturally, my roommate situation changed, but it did not end. Because my husband and I live close to, and are close to, our families, our siblings have from time to time become our roommates.
Lucky for me, I learned from my earlier roommate experience about something that I have come to know as ``the peanut butter factor.'' Knowledge of the peanut butter factor has given me the moral courage to insist that all roommates sit down and agree to roommate rules before the living together gets under way.
Perhaps a bit of background would be helpful here.
I used to have a roommate who swore up and down that she and I ate the same amount of food.
Even though something told me this was unlikely (for one thing, she weighed quite a bit more than me and ate peanut butter crackers almost every night), she believed what she said so fervently, I pushed aside my doubts and found myself believing her, too.
I have come to classify this as a symptom of classic ``peanut butter factor'' behavior.
Over the course of any given year, I will eat probably three servings of peanut butter. Yet when I lived with this roommate, I would buy a jar of peanut butter almost every time I went to the grocery store.
I never really thought too much about the disparity. Possibly, I admit, because I wanted to avoid the potential for an ugly conflict. I had not yet achieved the maturity necessary to devise rules for roommating.
Like many situations in life, the whole thing became clear to me once I was outside of it.
When my husband and I started living together, I would buy the same amount of food that I was buying when I lived with my roommate. After the first month, our cupboards were stacked with food we hadn't eaten and the excess fruits and vegetables in the crispers were becoming quite un-crisp.
Last year, my younger sister moved in with us for a time. I was prepared. So was she. Unfortunately, we knew ahead of time that the food problem was not going to be one of delusion but profusion.
To remedy the situation, we declared a mutual ban on the buying of Chocolate Fudge Brownie Ice Cream. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it did not, but at least we had a rule.
We had other rules too, about things such as cleaning - ``the kitchen sink factor.'' Thanks to the fact that my sister is a clean-aholic, those rules were basically redundant.
In fact, I think I made out on the deal. I learned about certain cleaning tips and products. Stains on clothes: ``Pre-treat!'' Spots on the rug: ``Get the Resolve Carpet Cleaner!''
This year, my brother-in-law and his girlfriend have moved in.
We had a meeting. We have devised a grocery shopping plan. We have all promised to clean.
Last week I looked for my old jar of Skippy. In its place was a new container of Jif.
``There was an empty jar of peanut butter in there,'' said the girlfriend. ``I threw it out.''
I think it's a good sign.
LENGTH: Medium: 76 lines ILLUSTRATION: PHOTO: 1. Fortunately for them, roommates on the hit TV showby CNB"Friends" have never had to deal with the "peanut butter factor."
But, then, by living in the fantasy world of TV they don't have to
put up with a lot of things real-life roomies do.
2. color graphic by STEVE STINSON/STAFF