ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Thursday, March 7, 1996 TAG: 9603070075
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: MARK MORRISON STAFF WRITER
Sam and Mark, or John Boy and Billy? John Boy and Billy, or Sam and Mark?
``The Morning Show'' or ``The Big Show"?
This is the great radio debate of the moment now that WROV-FM (96.3) has removed Sam Giles and his newsman sidekick, Mark Nelson, from the morning drive-time slot and replaced them with the syndicated Southern shenanigans of John Boy and Billy out of Charlotte, N.C.
Predictably, fans of Sam and Mark have raised a ruckus about the switch. When a change like this is made among radio personalities, it almost always causes a stir. In this case the protests seem to be particularly passionate, making front page news.
But are they valid protests?
Were Sam and Mark as good as their supporters say?
Are John Boy and Billy as bad as their detractors say?
Or is it just that they are new to us, and will take some getting accustomed to, whereas Sam and Mark were familiar and comfortable? Like friends, not out-of-town strangers.
Sam and Mark or John Boy and Billy?
Maybe a closer look at the two shows will help settle the debate.
Probably, it won't. But we singled out the Feb. 22 Roanoke debut of "The John Boy and Billy Big Show" anyhow. We also took a second listen to a typical morning with Sam and Mark, from their show on Feb. 1. Call it a first impression versus a last hoorah.
To be fair, the funniest moment on either show came from John Boy and Billy. (Sorry, Sam and Mark supporters.) It came from a segment called ``People Are Stupid,'' and was telephoned in by a regular guest whom they call Mad Max.
``Now listen to this,'' Mad Max said in a thick Southern accent, thicker even than John Boy's distinctive dialect. ``Elton and Sandra Maber, two stupid people who live in a trailer park, have pled guilty to trying to hire a hit man to kill her son because they feared his mischief would get them evicted from the trailer park.''
He paused while John Boy and Billy laughed uproariously. Then he continued.
``The hit man was their other son.''
Of course, what makes this particularly funny is that it's true. Truth is always stranger, and often more humorous, than fiction or radio personalities.
``Now, whenever you think you are bad parents, if you're having a bad day,'' Mad Max went on, ``...think about old Elton and Sandra. What's that all about? `Oh, our son, where did we go wrong raising him? He's full of mischief. I guess we're gonna have to kill him.'''
It's sad and pathetic, yes, but also hilarious.
This will come as a relief to Dave O'Brien, WROV's program director, who didn't make the decision to pull Sam and Mark but is having to live with it.
``We're taking a lot of heat right now,'' he said. And he worried that a critical look at the new morning team would result in the station getting slammed in the newspaper.
There were other funny bits from John Boy and Billy, too.
Most of them came not from the show's raucous host, John Boy, however, but from his dry-humored co-host, Billy. Unfortunately, he doesn't get quite as much microphone time as the more abrasive John Boy.
In one exchange, for instance, John Boy read a news item about Salt Lake City banning all school clubs rather than allow a gay students club. To which, Billy commented sarcastically: ``Students Against Drunk Driving. You know, we've been trying to stamp them out for awhile.''
He made his point about the absurdity of it all.
But John Boy couldn't let it rest there, adding: ``For goodness sake, now if you're gonna have a club on, like, your sexual orientation, what would keep us from, like you know, a guys who like cheerleaders club?''
Again, it was Billy's reply that got the bigger laughs:
``Well, we have one of those. We just can't have a meeting on school property in Salt Lake City.''
Such borderline sexist dialogue isn't the exclusive domain of the upstarts from Charlotte. To their credit - or discredit, depending on your viewpoint - Sam and Mark also crossed the line in discussing ``X-Files'' character Dana Scully, played by actress Gillian Anderson.
``You know what they need,'' Sam suggested. ``I mean, that show's popular, but just to make it a little more popular, you need one of them calendars with naked pictures of Scully. Don't you think she's hot?''
``She's attractive, yeah,'' Mark answered. ``A calendar maybe holding some kind of air-impact wrench in her hand.''
Overall, Sam and Mark were funnier. Their humor seemed more natural and more conversational than John Boy and Billy, who seemed to be trying a little too hard.
Probably Sam and Mark's brightest exchange came during their daily mystery lyric segment, wherein the winner gets a free unlimited-topping pizza from Domino's Pizza.
``Do you suppose they mean unlimited?'' Sam wondered aloud. ``I want 500 items on there.''
``Ice cream...'' Mark suggested.
``I don't care if you have to go out and buy them. They're gonna be mad we suggested that.''
``...Coconut shell.''
``Pure coconut?''
``No, the shell.''
``One of which was used as a fake bra for Gilligan. That's one of the items I want,'' Sam added. ``You said unlimited.''
Sam and Mark also were better with callers, keeping the conversations short and lively. John Boy and Billy let their calls go on too long. They even ended one by insulting the caller, a brainy college student who told them she studied more than she partied, then failed to answer a trivia question.
``No wonder you don't get asked out to party much,'' John Boy said. Then he added: ``Just kidding.''
On Sam and Mark's show, there also were fewer voices to keep up with. For the most part, it was just the two of them. With John Boy and Billy, there were all sorts of assorted voices, a woman sidekick named Clare, a producer named Jackie, Mad Max and commentator Robert D. Raiford. At times it was confusing.
It also was louder, with all those people competing for the best one-liner.
Some might say obnoxious.
Sam and Mark are more understated, more subtle. It's sort of like the difference between Foghorn Leghorn and Andy Griffith.
Finally, maybe the worst thing about the new show is that it isn't local. John Boy and Billy were sitting in their studio at WRFX in Charlotte, not down on Cleveland Avenue in Roanoke. And when they did mention Roanoke in welcoming a new market to their syndicated show, it was apparent they had not done their homework.
The show's producer, Jackie, said she was Dell Curry's sister, and they talked about the NBA star having played his college basketball in Roanoke - at Virginia Tech.
Roanoke, Blacksburg. Blacksburg, Roanoke; in Charlotte, it's all the same.
That's OK. In Roanoke, so are Charlotte and Hickory. Who cares, right?
John Boy and Billy also took a disrespectful dig at Roanoke's former name.
``There he is, the mayor of Big Lick, ladies and gentleman,'' Billy said.
``Yes, Big Hick in Big Lick,'' John Boy added.
They just don't understand.
Local is better.
Sam and Mark, you are missed.
Mark Morrison covers music and reviews concerts for The Roanoke Times. His phone number is 981-3338 or (800) 346-1234, ext. 435. His e-mail address is extraroanoke.infi.net
InfoLine
Which do you prefer, the old ``Morning Show'' or the new ``Big Show"?
We expect the ballot box to be stuffed in favor of Sam Giles and Mark Nelson out of loyalty and familiarity if nothing else, but give us your comments anyway. Maybe there are some who prefer John Boy and Billy. Let us know how intensely this debate is raging out there in radio land.
Call Infoline.
Roanoke 981-0100
New River 382-0200
Category 9768
LENGTH: Long : 153 lines ILLUSTRATION: PHOTO: 1. CINDY PINKSTON/Staff. Newsman Mark Nelson (left) andby CNBDJ Sam Giles were long-time partners the WROV-FM morning shift.
color. 2. John Boy (seated) and Billy are the new guys in town ...
but they're not in town. KEYWORDS: INFOLINE