ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Sunday, March 10, 1996 TAG: 9603120046
SECTION: CURRENT PAGE: NRV13 EDITION: NEW RIVER VALLEY
COLUMN: Claws & Paws
SOURCE: M.J. BOWEN
Q: My mother recently had to have her 12-year-old Corgi put to sleep. He had been her great pal since my father died five years ago. My mother seems to be having a hard time getting over `Brownie's' death, and I am not sure what to do to help.
A: It is always a trauma when a beloved pet dies. It is perfectly natural to feel upset and emotional, especially when the pet has been part of a person's life for many years - as Brownie was a part of your mother's. She looked after him, loved him, fed him and enjoyed his company.
Give your mother time to get over her loss. No one can say exactly how long this will take, because everyone is different. Some people feel better after a few weeks, but some people find that remembering the pet's death still makes them upset, even after several years.
Encourage your mother to talk about Brownie's death, especially to friends and relatives who have had a similar experience. She may be surprised at how many other people have been upset over a pet who has died, and how similar their feelings are.
It is also natural for your mother to think about how much she will miss Brownie, but try to get her to remember the good times, too. Get her to remember Brownie's funny little habits and what she loved most about him.
It is quite normal to feel angry when your pet dies or to feel that his death was ``unfair,''particularly if the pet had a serious illness or accident. These emotions are part of the process of coming to terms with the loss. Do not let your mother feel guilty over Brownie's death. She took good care of him during his life and took him to the veterinarian when he was ill, so she has done all she possibly could. Nor is it fair to blame other people. Veterinarians are not miracle workers, and in spite of herculean efforts, it is not always possible to save a treasured pet's life.
Allow your mother time to think about getting a new pet. This is something that only she can decide when the time is right. Some people feel like getting a new pet almost at once as they can't bear the void in their lives. Others take a little longer or may even feel that no other pet can take the place of their old pet. This is something only your mother can decide, preferably without family pressure.
If your mother feels she is unable to talk to friends and relatives, or if they are particularly unsympathetic, there is always the new Grief Counseling Service which is offered by the Virginia-Maryland Regional College of Veterinary Medicine's Pet Loss Support Hot Line. The hot line is open on Tuesday and Thursday from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. Telephone (540)231-8038. At other times, call and leave a message and someone will call you back.
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