ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Monday, March 18, 1996 TAG: 9603190018
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: Ben Beagle
SOURCE: BEN BEAGLE
That's the way it goes. You run for president these days and you've got to have a Vision for America.
You take Bob Dole. He recently said people are always asking him what his Vision for America is. I guess he knows what his vision is, but I'm glad people don't come around asking me questions like that.
If they did, it would be embarrassing:
"Bennie, what is your Vision for America?"
"Well, gee, I mean, you know, I kind of wish they made cars that could realign their own front ends and change their own oil. That's as far as I'm prepared to go at this time."
"But, surely, you must have a dream of giving the country back to the people, which is what a Vision for America is all about."
"Well, it looks to me like having a car that would do those things would be a pretty good vision."
"And you're saying, except for automobile improvements, you wouldn't try to vastly upgrade and enhance the lot of the common people of this country?"
"Listen, pal. I'm a common person, and I haven't noticed anybody trying to do anything about my lot."
Then you get headlines: BEAGLE HAS NO VISION FOR COUNTRY. Or: BEAGLE SEEN AS SELFISH CAMPAIGNER.
Why do you have to have one of those vision things to run for president? I wouldn't run for president if several semi-automatic weapons were pointed at me. It's just the principle of the thing.
I've done my time in the Army. I stand up for "The Star-Spangled Banner." I've been a good family man. So, I've got to have a vision, too?
At this time in my life? When the legs are going? When you start lying about the year you graduated from high school? When you worry a lot about your liver?
Never mind vision. I don't understand the presidential-nomination process. I don't know how Super Tuesday works. I thought for a long time it was an annual sale at Kmart.
I know it happens on a Tuesday. I think it's over, which is kind of nice.
I certainly wouldn't want any of the above to discourage you from getting a really good Vision for America. You never know when somebody is going to ask you for one. I hope you understand Super Tuesday.
I'm done for anyway. I'm like the woman who was quoted in a news story recently as feeling "disempowered" - which kind of sounds like her battery died.
I don't mind telling you that I've been feeling more and more like I could use a good jump start.
LENGTH: Medium: 54 linesby CNB