ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Saturday, March 30, 1996 TAG: 9604010100
SECTION: CURRENT PAGE: NRV1 EDITION: NEW RIVER VALLEY
This is an excerpt of John-Michael Knowles' eulogy for his mothes, titled "Where do I Begin?" He read it before hundreds of people at her funeral a week ago.
It's hard to say everything you want to tell a person in this lifetime, in only a few minutes. I want to begin by telling you what my mom meant to me and my brothers and sister.
Never have I, nor will I ever, meet someone as special as my mom ... I have never known a woman to be everything to so many people. I have never known a woman to face so many trials and tribulations and continue on with a smile. I have never known a woman to always see the good in people, and always put the thoughts and needs of others in front of her own, on a daily basis.
My mom believes in us when no one else would.
She tells us to never settle for mediocrity.
She opens our eyes to worlds that we have never dreamed of.
She shows us things that we never knew existed.
She loves us more than we ever thought possible.
She gives us the drive, ambition and emotion to not to be scared to try!
She gives us the backbone, support and caring to not to be scared to fail!
She instills in us her values, dreams, understanding of the way life was, is and most importantly, should be.
She is our confidant, motivation, role model and best friend.
She truly is our everything.
However, the intrinsic strength that our mom possessed lives on within each of us. And we will make it ... because that is what she would want.
We all are suffering, grieving and hurting ... Everyone including myself is looking for answers, however, there are none to be found.
We constantly ask ourselves:
Why now?
Why her?
And most importantly - why did this have to happen?
I don't really know what to say, believe, think or even feel; to make the pain subside. I look around the room and everyone is hurting because my mom is gone. She has touched so many lives, in so many different ways, that it makes us want to stop the world and fix the injustice that has just occurred. However, we must realize that what my mom gave is everlasting. It cannot be taken away by anyone or any horrible act.
When the dust settles and the phones stop ringing, that is when our true battle begins, and when the onset of pain is intensified, but it is only then that we as a family and community must come together because that is where our strength lies.
I want to share with you what my mom would say if she had a chance.
Realize that you only have one chance in life and you never know how long that time may last. Give that hug, mend that relationship and tell that person you care, and make the most out of every day because tomorrow is not that far away, and no one knows what tomorrow holds.
That would be my mom's advice because that is the way she lived life!
Any of you that know me can look in my eyes and see that I am hurting badly inside and I miss her so, so much.
All I want is to talk to her once more and for her to give me a hug, and tell me that everything is going to all right. I wish that she could shield me from the darkness as she always did in my youth. But regretfully she can't do these things any more.
But she will always live on through the hopes, dreams, accomplishments of myself and my family and because of that:
She will always live on in my eyes.
LENGTH: Medium: 69 lines KEYWORDS: ANGIE KNOWLESby CNB