ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Monday, April 1, 1996 TAG: 9604010116
SECTION: EDITORIAL PAGE: A4 EDITION: METRO
MEMO TO: William Gray Stanley and sons, Rocky Mount, Va.
From: Virginia Division of Tourism, Richmond, Va.
Hey, guys, you got it all wrong. It's squandering our potential to take one of your county's major tourist attractions and deliver it up to people in New York, Philadelphia, Baltimore and Washington, D.C. The idea is to get them to come to Franklin County for it, and maybe while they're there spend some time and money at the speedway and the Dairy Queen.
Surely it would also be less trouble for you folks, since the state police - not trained in tourism development as we are - keep stopping you on interstates, arresting you and seizing assets.
Anyway, your farm-to-market enterprise might benefit if you'd avail yourselves of some of state government's many excellent services.
The fact that authorities stopped you on Virginia highways three times in a two-week period and confiscated your wares suggests that remedial driving instruction might be in order. The Department of Motor Vehicles would be happy to assist you in this regard.
Assuming your profit margin has been hurt by these setbacks, perhaps you could apply for a small-business loan. Or ask for help setting up a computerized inventory system, or maybe training incentives for your staff. The commonwealth of Virginia is open for business, you know.
Meanwhile, seeing as how you are already legends in your community, we here in the tourism office might be able to interest our Hollywood contacts in a movie about your adventures. Robert Mitchum would be a natural as the family patriarch, and Nicolas Cage and John Travolta could play the boys.
There is the little matter of the charges pending against you. Having been caught allegedly hauling well over 1,000 gallons of bootleg in the past month, it's possible you might not be able to beat the rap this time even if Lady Luck from over at the Lottery Department handles your defense.
Be assured, however, that the tourism division fully appreciates your economic-development activities, and is justly proud that Franklin County remains the moonshine capital of the world. Sad it is that jackbooted business-depressors in the Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control's illegal whiskey interdiction unit simply fail to understand the entrepreneurial spirit.
LENGTH: Short : 47 linesby CNB