ROANOKE TIMES 
                      Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times

DATE: Monday, April 1, 1996                  TAG: 9604040001
SECTION: EXTRA                    PAGE: 1    EDITION: METRO 
COLUMN: Bad Credit 

A SLAP ON THE WRIST TO: ART FULDODGER

Name: Art Fuldodger

Age: 17

School: Hard Knocks High School

Year: Freshman

What he does: "I quit doing everything, man. I'm clean now. Honest."

Other activities: Whistling. Shoplifting. Looking for chicks.

What he's learned: Live fast, die young and leave a good-looking corpse.

Obstacles: Locks - especially "The Club." Big dogs. Time-open safes. Metal detectors.

I would like people to think of me as: Not guilty.

In my free time I like to: Knock off convenience stores.

What I'd like to change about the world: "I would like to see an end to trade barriers and a worldwide free market economy."

What I'd like to change about myself: More chest hair.

Most important issue facing teen-agers today: Boxers or briefs?

The toughest lesson I've learned so far is: Grand larceny gets you five to 10.

My greatest thrill was: Winning free back-stage passes to meet "Metallica."

My major goal in life is: Learning all the chords to "Free Bird."

People I most admire: Axl Rose. Beavis and Butt-head. All the babes on "Baywatch."

Future plans: "I dunno, man. I'm thinking about lunch at Burger King."

LENGTH: Medium:   51 lines
ILLUSTRATION: PHOTO:  color