ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Friday, April 12, 1996 TAG: 9604120020
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: EXTRA EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: Friday Something
SOURCE: NANCY GLEINER
If you feel something dark and ominous hovering above you, it's not death, but it's close to it. Yup, there are only three days left!
So, put down that cup of coffee! Time's a-wastin'! As soon as you finish reading the newspaper (let nothing interfere with that!), get off your duff and dig out those W-2s, 1040s, B-52s, Chanel No.5s and No.2 pencils. The Ides of April approacheth.
Need some more deductions? Too bad you weren't born yesterday - or maybe 200 or 300 years ago. Had you lived in the 1600s, you could have boarded up your windows, shaved your beard, got hitched - and paid less to the government.
Ireland used to assess taxes based on the number of windows in houses; Russia taxed men with beards; and England levied a tax on bachelors to inspire more men to tie the knot.
Used to be that some countries didn't accept greenbacks as tax payments. Natives living on islands near Australia paid their taxes with sharks' teeth. Tough job, being a tax collector there, trying to extract more payment. Jivara tribesmen living along the Amazon paid their taxes in shrunken heads. We have no statistics on how many taxmen disappeared there each year.
Wish you were rich enough to be able to leave your kids a healthy nest egg? Not worth it. When Howard Hughes' estate was taxed, it was government take all - or 70 percent, anyway - to the tune of $336 million. Ouch!
And don't forget to sign at the bottom.
LENGTH: Short : 36 linesby CNB