ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Friday, April 12, 1996 TAG: 9604120077
SECTION: NATIONAL/INTERNATIONAL PAGE: A-1 EDITION: METRO
DATELINE: WASHINGTON
SOURCE: CALVIN WOODWARD ASSOCIATED PRESS
THE DEATH OF A TINY PILOT raises questions about youngsters doing too much, too young.
She was at the age when some children still have a few wiggly baby teeth. Various passions - for cereal, cartoons, maybe even the little boy next door - can be here today and gone tomorrow. What was she doing piloting a plane?
The aftermath of Jessica Dubroff's fatal flight raised questions about youngsters doing too much, too young.
Sometimes the parent pushes. ``It's astonishing what we're doing to these kids,'' said a former soccer coach who saw too many burned-out 10-year-olds.
Sometimes the child pushes to achieve, and no one says no. ``We make this assumption that because kids can talk a good game, they can live a good game,'' said child psychiatrist Dr. Bennett Leventhal.
Parent or child, the dream can be to have Junior reading at age 3, to have her burning up the tennis court before 10, to make him a star before his voice changes.
Jessica's dream came at 9,000 feet. ``I just like to fly,'' the 7-year-old said. ``It's like floating.''
She crashed and died in her Cessna shortly after takeoff on the second leg of her attempt to become the youngest person to fly across the continent. She was out to break records set by children ages 8 and 9.
Her father, Lloyd, who died in the crash along with a flight instructor, had said it was Jessica who did the pushing. She ``dragged her mother and me into this.'' At another point, he said ``I'm the culprit'' for bringing up the idea.
The law says pilots can't solo until they're 16, but there is no minimum age to learn to fly. But 7?
Children ``should be cherished for their own sake,'' said Dr. Lawrence Stone, president of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. ``They are not little adults.''
Americans are famous for valuing both achievement and recognition, which can be different.
The Guinness Book of Records no longer recognizes the youngest pilot or other categories that might encourage children to seek fame through outlandish danger.
Yet people find amusement in ``America's Funniest Home Videos,'' which once showed a child pitching head first into stairs. Producers say they try to screen out the deliberately risky from a show based on accidents, stunts and cute moments.
Alexandria, Va., lawyer Kenneth Labowitz, who quit soccer coaching last year but still has his kids in sports, says the effort, pressure and money - in some cases for professional soccer tutors - can be too much.
``The parents, after the game, exult so much in the child winning. They form arches; the kids run under the parents. The scene is so wrong,'' he said.
Family psychologist Dr. Charles Figley at Florida State University says the modern and more impersonal society has created ``a tremendous amount of incentive to be noticed, to be recognized, to stand out from the crowd.''
And in the electronic age, ``the opportunity to do this is much more thrilling and interesting now, because so many more people see it.''
Tales of overbearing stage and sports parents are legion: the stage managers who have seen parents shaking children who did not audition well, the grown-ups dressing down their kids or fighting with each other at the ball field.
``Come on, Mary, let's fight,'' John Pierce, once barred from tennis tour events for harassing his daughter, said in recounting to Newsday how he'd driven the girl to achieve.
``I was her strength, her backbone. Yes, I pushed her to the top. I always made her feel like she wasn't quite good enough.''
Figley, who has specialized in child celebrities, said young people may be as driven as their parents, or more. Who is pushing whom is not an easy question because, in many cases, ``the child very, very much wants to do this.''
The consequences soared with a 7-year-old in the clouds, using an extender so her feet could reach the controls.
``I think it's a very tricky business trying to set reasonable goals for your children that are maybe even slightly beyond their reach,'' he said, but still safe.
``They can talk with a far greater sophistication than they can act,'' he said. ``Adults are often fooled by that.''
LENGTH: Medium: 85 linesby CNB