ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Monday, April 15, 1996 TAG: 9604150020
SECTION: EDITORIAL PAGE: A-5 EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: Monty S. Leitch
SOURCE: MONTY S. LEITCH
OVER CHRISTMAS, a friend of about my age - an age to which we shall hereinafter refer as "The Age of Reason" - told me that recently she had taken up roller-skating.
"Roller-skating?" I asked. "You mean with knee-pads and helmet and all?"
She said, "No. Not roller-blading. Just plain, old-fashioned roller-skating."
"And is it fun?" I asked her.
She said, "Oh, it's great. But, now don't tell anybody this, but the last time I fell down, I gave myself a mild concussion."
I had a pair of roller skates once. They were the kind of skates that buckled over a pair of hard-soled shoes. I tried them out in the basement, which had a cement floor before Papa tiled it.
I'd really wanted those skates. I remember that much, although I don't remember why.
Likely, it had something to do with some book I'd been reading at the time; likely, some book in which perky little girls gleefully zip up and down neighborhood sidewalks on tiny flashing wheels, their bright plaid skirts whipping about their knees.
Likely, too, my parents tried to explain to me that the cement floor in the basement would make a poor substitute for neighborhood sidewalks, which we did not have.
Likely, I insisted anyway.
I remember the great excitement I felt the night I first tried out my roller skates. I discovered then what my friend has discovered more recently: Roller-skating is hard. (And so is a cement floor.)
So, I guess I wore my roller skates twice after that. Maybe three times. I don't know what happened to them then.
Indeed, I'd forgotten all about them until my conversation over Christmas.
Which, as it turns out, was truly propitious, as I'd been considering a trip to the roller rink.
I'd been thinking that maybe roller-skating would be about the same as ice-skating, only warmer. And, I'd been thinking that maybe it would be something fun to do with one of my nephews. (The one who tells me, over and over, "Don't worry, nothing hurts me.")
"So, what do you think?" I asked my friend. "Is it something like skating on ice?"
"Not exactly," she said. Then she told me about her concussion.
"Probably not the thing to do with a 5-year-old," I said.
"Well, I doubt it would hurt him," she said.
"I doubt it would," I agreed.
But what of my old grey head?
"You could wear a helmet, I suppose," she said. "But you'd be the only one."
I said, "I wouldn't want to embarrass the boy."
She said, "I'm sure you wouldn't."
I said, "I should be reasonable."
She said, "Likely, you should."
Finally, I said, "I think I'll take him to the movies instead."
And she said, "That sounds like a fine idea."
Monty S. Leitch is a Roanoke Times columnist.
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