ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Monday, April 15, 1996 TAG: 9604150028
SECTION: EDITORIAL PAGE: A-5 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: BEN MARTIN
EVEN AFTER the tragedy, she still did not get it.
As Lisa Blair Hathaway, the mother of 7-year-old Jessica Dubroff, prepared to fly to Wyoming to claim the bodies of her daughter and ex-husband, she said:
"I beg people to let children fly if they want to fly."
Despite the agony of her loss, which, as a mother, must be great, it is easier to be angry with Hathaway than to feel sympathy for her.
Remember when our parents used to tell us that we did not realize how good we had it? Even our parents' parents said it.
But, it cannot be said anymore.
This generation of children will be the first of many, sadly, to say that their parents had it better.
Many of today's parents have failed miserably.
We have forgotten where we came from.
We have been selfish.
Would your mother have allowed you to fly an airplane when you were 7? Probably, she would have been scared to death if you were even a passenger on one.
Would your mother have made a comment such as "the flight meant everything to her?" Of course not. Your parents were not foolish. When you were 7 years old, you were treated as a 7-year-old. You were a child. Your concerns were a child's concerns.
Would your parents have given you the same "freedom of choice" that Jessica's gave her? Your mother and father would laugh at such a remark. You were told what to do. You see, you had responsible parents. They realized that 7-year-olds need guidance. Your parents were not weak. When they said "no," they meant it. They were not afraid of you. It was the other way around.
You and I have had good examples, but we have not followed them. We are so concerned about our own individual needs that we have rendered ourselves useless for our kids. So, we do not do anything. Doing something would be better than doing nothing.
When we do get involved, it is sometimes wrong. We indulge our children and let them make too many of their own decisions. We allow them to equate happiness with money by letting them drive cars that are better than ours and by giving them money to spend on ridiculously priced clothing. Meanwhile, we absolve them of any family responsibility, which means we do the household chores.
It is as if we are afraid of our children - or at least their rejection of us. Remember how you felt about Mom and Dad when you were, say, 16? It did not last forever, did it? So, why worry if kids do not always get their way?
Jessica Dubroff had good parents who cared, but they made a tragic mistake. Their error is one made by too many parents: They led their child to believe that she could do the same things that adults do. When this happens, an innocent child just does not have a chance.
Ben Martin is director of the Radio Reading Service at WVTF in Roanoke County.
LENGTH: Medium: 61 linesby CNB