ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Monday, April 15, 1996 TAG: 9604160015
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: Ben Beagle
SOURCE: BEN BEAGLE
I want to be frank here and say I don't know a whole lot about baseball.
I gave up the game in the spring of 1937. At that time, my sadistic cousin was at bat and I was catching. He slung the bat and injured my face extensively.
My nose was ruined and I became a mouth breather for the rest of my life. Everybody said I was dumb for playing too close to the plate.
If I'm ignorant about baseball, it follows that I don't know a thing about the stadiums in which it is played.
So I have to wonder if all modern baseball stadiums - or is that stadia? - have hots tubs you can fit 10 people in, which is the case with the new ballfield in Salem.
Regardless, the city of Salem is , as usual, ahead of everybody else in Western Virginia.
I'm usually in the minority when it comes to any kind of innovation, and I am here to say I'd be a little embarrassed to watch a baseball game from a hot tub - even if it did have a view of the first-base line.
For that matter, I'd be embarrassed to watch a jai alai match while floating around in a hot tub.
But most people aren't as reactionary and dull as I am and would think nothing of jumping into a hot tub at a baseball stadium.
Sadly, however, Salem is going to have its critics. Some of them are going to be Sodom-and-Gomorrah types and others will remind the city of the declining, decadent days of Ancient Rome.
Phooey. There's nothing immoral or decadent about a hot tub.
For all you know, your Aunt Zelda ordered one at the home show last month.
(OK. So your Aunt Zelda wouldn't get into a hot tub in public with nine other people, even it did have a view of the first-base line. But let's keep an open mind here.)
So what if they chose the Budweiser Girls to break in the tub for the season opener? They didn't hire Boom-Boom La Tour and her Fan Dancers did they?
I don't believe Salem is getting decadent. If they have a chariot race around the bases before a game, I might change my mind.
No. There are deeper questions here. Like:
When you pay the 10 bucks to get in the tub, does the stadium furnish a towel?
Who decides how hot a hot tub should be?
What do you wear in a hot tub with a view of the first-base line?
Is hot-tubbing good for your arthritis and, if so, is it covered by Medicare and Trigon?
What is a Budweiser Girl?
LENGTH: Medium: 55 linesby CNB