ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Thursday, April 25, 1996 TAG: 9604260010
SECTION: PARENTS' GUIDE PAGE: E-9 EDITION: METRO
There aren't many places you can go for good advice at 3 a.m., a time when you might need it most - the baby's colicky; you're worried that your teen-ager is taking drugs; you wonder if your son is hyperactive.
Cyberspace is awake all night and packed with parents leaving messages about their concerns of raising kids in the '90s. The backyard fence in many places has been replaced with a computer and a modem. The world is virtually your confidante and guide in bringing up baby or in finding an antidote to Beavis and Butthead and Mortal Kombat.
The cup of coffee and kitchen table to chat over have been replaced by a keyboard and fiberoptic cables.
There's a feeling of comfort in the anonymity of chatting on-line. (Users often don't use their real names.) People are more at ease baring their souls to unseen strangers.
``I feel really guilty about the fact that I have stronger feelings for my baby girl than for my 5-year-old stepson,'' admitted a Missouri mother. ``I would never say this to my friends, but I can be completely honest about it on-line, and I've received some good advice.''
Cyberspace is the Internet, a loosely organized network of computers that is visited by millions of people around the world, some of them parents comparing experiences, asking for advice, seeking support or just wanting another housebound-adult-with-fussy-children to commiserate with.
The Internet has almost limitless possibilities for resources and its expanding daily - on-line magazines, reference libraries, shopping networks, discussion groups, chat rooms and e-mail. The Internet also houses the World Wide Web, a kind of electronic filing cabinet of sites, or home pages, offering information on particular topics.
It's called a web with good reason. By clicking on highlighted words, called hot links, you can be instantly transported to other Internet sites that offer additional or related information. For example, from the Mom to Mom home page you can enter the Moms Across America message board, then search for moms with similar interests by hobbies or skills or location or. . . . If you choose the Resource Center from the Mom to Mom home page, you can then choose from bibliographies, product reviews, state resources, etc., etc. It's easy to get tangled in the web and forget what you were looking for in the first place.
Commercial on-line services such as America On-line, CompuServe, Prodigy and Infinet are private companies with the same services available on the Internet, but are more limited in scope and easier to use. Same wheel, less spokes. Of course, this convenience is not without a price. Monthly subscription fees start at about $10 and can rise significantly, depending on how much time you spend on-line. Beware, cybersurfing can be addictive.
Where to begin? Look for sections specifically designed for parents, click on chat rooms or message boards (called newsgroups on the Internet) and type a greeting or message with information you're seeking or the topic you'd like to discuss. You might have to wait for a reply, sometimes for days, if you're looking for something specific. On the other hand, especially in chat rooms, you're likely to get an immediate response.
The World Wide Web has its own index, called Yahoo, which lists most parenting-related sites under ``Children: Parenting'' and ``Families.''
Some messages can literally be life-savers; others may come from people who are unreliable sources or who abuse cyberspace, send out insults (called flames), or are just plain crazy. Caution is advised.
It's cheaper now, and a lot faster, to e-mail your son in college than to write him a letter or call him on the phone - after the initial, admittedly expensive, cost of a computer, modem and on-line fees. You can cyberchat in your bathrobe, though, and, if he answers you back at 3 in the morning, you can remind him that staying up all night is not mandatory in college.
Where to look on the web
Some good sites to check out on the web (the gobbeldy-gook in parentheses are the letters to type in after opening the web and selecting a keyword search):
ParentsPlace.com (http://www.parentsplace.com/) offers on-line newsletters for parents and an on-line mall where users (that's you) can order baby supplies and books.
Facts for Families (http://www.psych.med.umich.edu/web/aacap/factsFam) contains articles on dozens of parenting and childhood issues, such as children and divorce, and children's sleep problems.
Family Planet (http://family.starwave.com/) is like an on-line newspaper, with daily updates, stories, advice columns and book, TV and movie reviews.
ParentSoup (http://www.parentsoup.com) is a one-stop resource center that includes advice for parents by parents/experts, the Parents' 500 Directory, listing 500 organizations indexed and searchable by topic.
LENGTH: Medium: 91 lines ILLUSTRATION: PHOTO: TIM TREVILIAN. Bruce Stewart and son Neal check e-mailby CNBfrom Bruce's daughter, Kristin.