ROANOKE TIMES Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times DATE: Sunday, April 28, 1996 TAG: 9604260091 SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO COLUMN: The Back Pew SOURCE: CODY LOWE
Sitting in the meeting room of the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of the New River Valley, it's hard to concentrate on whoever is speaking.
Behind the pulpit is a wall of glass, through which the mountains beckon to one's mind and spirit and body, especially during the glory of sunset.
But by the time the Rev. Arvid Straube of Chapel Hill, N.C., began his sermon during last Sunday's installation of the Rev. Rudolph C. Gelsey as minister of the New River Fellowship, the sky was dark and I could focus on Straube's words.
In a pitch for this Unitarian Universalist congregation to proselytize more effectively so it can grow to its potential, Straube quoted a Jewish rabbi who contends that every community has people just waiting to "be saved."
Quickly the rabbi added that he wasn't using theological language, but computer terminology.
Many people, particularly older people, the rabbi said, want to know their experiences, their "programming," is saved onto the "hard disk" of the community, even of the planet.
It's a fascinating concept with implications beyond Straube's intention of encouraging the congregation to seek out such people as prospective members.
Traditionally, even those of us who had limited opportunities to have an impact on other people's lives could count on our families carrying on our traditions, our stories, and in some ways, our lives. We could count on the influence of our existence being felt at least for a while in the pool of our relations.
An increasingly fragmented society has eroded families' abilities - and perhaps our inclinations - to do that.
Close as my own children are to their one surviving grandparent, the simple fact that they see her so few times each year means they haven't had the same chances to hear and "download" her stories as I did by seeing all four of my grandparents every couple of weeks.
I regret that, but I also understand that my mother may never know the tremendous positive influence she has had on the lives of my children - and a host of other people - even if they have fewer opportunities to share "data" than we might like.
My dad died at 41, but one of the consolations I had afterward had to do with my perception that he had touched so many lives for good in his short lifetime.
He was a furniture plant manager who was beloved by most of his employees. Before it was popular, before it was required, he took chances on people.
He hired women to work in positions that formerly had been restricted to male employees. He put ex-cons to work, even after getting burned by a few of them. He was one of those bosses who daily ranged through the factory, calling employees by name, asking about their families, complimenting their work.
That "working" part of his life constituted a significant contribution to the community in which he lived. But from my perspective as a 19-year-old, more important was the contribution he - along with my mother - made to my friends and classmates over the last three or four years of his life.
Our house was a community center of sorts for many of my high school classmates, who found my parents open, supportive and loving. Dozens of them came to play pool or table tennis, or just sit and listen to music.
I thought they were there to see me, but after I went away to college, a number of them continued to visit - with my parents. They talked about dreams and death, about loves and hates, about God and sin, about the glories of sunrise and sunset.
My folks were being saved - in the computer sense - by my friends. The influence of my parents' lives - already instilled in my brother and me - was being shared with a larger circle, a community, through those visits.
The influence of a famous author, or a movie star, or TV personality on the world may be more obvious and easy to understand. But it could not be any more powerful.
I was reminded this week that we are never too old or too young to make a contribution worthy of being saved - and we should not miss our opportunities to share them.
Nor should we forget the rabbi's advice to be aware of those around us - especially older people - who are just waiting for a chance to be saved by the rest of us.
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