ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Wednesday, May 8, 1996 TAG: 9605080026
SECTION: CURRENT PAGE: NRV-8 EDITION: NEW RIVER VALLEY
COLUMN: for seniors
SOURCE: TRACY GALLIMORE
Though my Supermom costume is pretty frayed after 17 years of motherhood, the memories of my misadventures while wearing it could fill a whole bunch of comics. I hope this brings some funny family times to mind.
Once when trying to do way too much, I decided to set aside Saturdays for quality time with my sons, then ages 11 and 8. I let them choose a project for the coming weekend, figuring we'd make something with macaroni, glitter and glue. They wanted to set up an aquarium.
We made the trip to the pet store, selected the tank, the colored gravels, some slimy-looking water plants, a pump, a light, plastic tubing and additives to make the water we drank and in which we bathed less than lethal to the tank's inhabitants.
The guy at the pet shop said, "You want to start out small. Pick some fish that don't cost much and that are pretty hardy."
We chose a goldfish, a black molly and two guppies.
"You just about can't go wrong with these," the fellow said, grinning over the top of a big tank at me. He netted the fish, dropped them in Baggies filled with water and tied off the tops.
"You want to get home before the water goes bad," he said.
In the car, my sons held the drippy bags on their laps and happily fought over names.
I wanted those fish to be tough. I suggested naming one "Artie Levin" after Mr. Fitness himself, once Roanoke Valley's toughest man.
The kids just looked at me funny. "Who?" they asked in unison.
My second choice was "Susan Powter." After all, she's spunky and a survivor.
The kids giggled and shook their heads "no."
My youngest held out the Baggie in my general direction and declared that the name of the fish must, indeed, match its true character.
After observing the condition of the Baggie, I changed my vote to "Poopie Boy."
They whooped their approval and went on to consider more names that incorporated bodily functions.
I hurried home and we immediately set up the tank. I even read the directions on how much solution to add to the water to make sure that there was enough slime-inducing stuff.
"Now," I said aloud, " I think the most efficient way to do this would be to pour water out of the each Baggie into the sink then turn the Baggie inside out and plop the fish in the tank." I, for one, did not want to pour the nasty water from the Baggies into our pristine tank.
"OK, but let's not let any of 'em go down the drain," said my eldest.
I laughed at that. Silly boy.
The switches for the overhead lights, the garbage disposal, and the florescent over the sink were side by side. I turned on the overhead light.
I began pouring and in seconds, the goldfish was at the bottom of the Baggie. Deftly, I turned the Baggie inside out (much like turning a sock) over the tank. Poopie Boy swam to the bottom of the tank and began doing his thing.
We cheered.
Next came the black molly. Again, success.
The last Baggie contained the two guppies. I was already congratulating myself while the boys hovered eagerly at my elbows
Just then the wall phone rang. Right beside my ear.
I jumped.
Two guppies rode the rush of water out of the Baggie and into the drain.
I shrieked. The kids shrieked. The phone shrieked.
"Hold everything," I said. "I can see one."
And I could. The guppy flopped energetically on that round rubber do-hickey (officially called a splash gasket) that keeps the nasty stuff swirling around in the garbage disposal from turning into a smelly tornado in your sink. The second guppy appeared to be a goner.
"Get me the flashlight!" I cried.
"The batteries ran out!" they cried.
I grabbed a wooden spoon to use for the rescue, and keeping my eyes on the fish, hit the switch to turn on the light above the sink
The sound of whirring filled the air.
Wrong switch.
Everyone wept for a few minutes. Then we looked at each other. Then we got to laughing.
We baked cupcakes. We felt better.
The molly turned out to be pregnant and we had 17 babies.
Special needs
Vicki Scott and the volunteers at Retired and Seniors Volunteers Program need your help. Donations for their Friday yard sale are badly needed. Proceeds will go to repair a blown head gasket in their van and for parties for nursing home residents. Call Vicki Scott at 382-5775 for pick up of items.
RETIRED AND SENIOR VOLUNTEER PROGRAM, 1 Franklin St., Courthouse Annex, Christiansburg. Victoria Scott, 382-5775:
* Today, 9 a.m., both Christiansburg groups do "Kids and Crafts."
* Thursday, 10 a.m., volunteers prepare for yard sale.
* Friday, 8 a.m., yard sale.
* Monday, 10 a.m., Shawsville group works at SHARE warehouse in Pulaski.
* Tuesday, noon, RSVP luncheon, St. Paul United Methodist Church, Christiansburg.
BLACKSBURG SENIOR PROGRAMS, Blacksburg Community Center, 725 Patrick Henry Drive. Joy Herbert, 961-1134:
* Thursday, 9:30 a.m., coffee; 10-11 a.m., discussion is "Retarding America, The Imprisonment of Potential," by Alice DeWitt.
* Monday, June 3, 10, 9 a.m.-10 p.m., Tennis. Free.
* Wednesdays, noon-2 p.m., Outdoor Art Class. $15. Sketching, painting, and drawing for all levels. Bring lunch.
CHRISTIANSBURG SENIOR CENTER, 655 Montgomery St. Sherry Kostric, 382-8173:
* Thursday, noon, Mother's Day Luncheon. Bring a covered dish.
* Friday, van departs at 8:30 a.m. for Mystery trip. Transportation is $3 for seniors, $6 for ages 21-54.
* Tuesday, 10 a.m., Mystery Movie; 10:30 a.m.-noon, blood sugar screening.
* May 15, 10:30 a.m.-noon, hearing aid evaluation (call for appointment).
* May 16, 9 a.m., van departs National Guard Armory for Walk-a-roos social.
* May 17, trip to Bluestone State Park, Hinton, W.Va. Transportation is $7.50 for seniors, $9.50 for ages 21-54 and includes lunch.
RADFORD SENIOR CENTER, 27 First St. Mary Jane Harmon, 731-3634:
* Today, 10 a.m., rummage sale set-up.
* Thursday and Friday, 9 a.m.-5 p.m., rummage sale.
* Saturday, 9 a.m.-4 p.m., rummage sale.
* Sunday and Monday, 9:30 a.m., rummage sale clean-up.
* May 15, 5 p.m., AARP potluck dinner.
GILES COUNTY SENIOR CENTER,1320 Wenonah Ave., Pearisburg. Betty Letsinger, 921-3924:
* Thursday, 9:45 a.m., walking at Old Orchard; bible study, 3:30 p.m..
* Tuesday, 9:45 a.m., walking at Old Orchard.
* May 17, noon, AARP No. 502 meeting.
PULASKI SENIOR CENTER, 106 N. Washington Ave. Carolyn Duncan, 980-1000:
* Fridays, 1-4 p.m., cards.
Senior shorts
* Radford Senior Center needs donations for Friday and Saturday rummage sale of books, glassware, crafts, jewelry, furniture, clothing in good condition. Drop items Monday-Thursday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Proceeds help with improvements and programs. Call Mary Jane Harmon, 731-3634.
* Senior Employment Program: Job placement assistance and skills training for job seekers 55 years or older. New River Valley Agency on Aging, 980-7720 or 639-9677.
* Senior Centers: offer a variety of ongoing activities, trips and classes. Call for a newsletter and a calendar of events.
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