ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Tuesday, May 14, 1996 TAG: 9605140013
SECTION: CURRENT PAGE: NRV-2 EDITION: NEW RIVER VALLEY
COLUMN: Reporter's Notebook
SOURCE: ELISSA MILENKY
There is a single, universal rule of thumb in virtually every office in America - except, perhaps, if you work at Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig. As long as it's remotely edible, people will devour any type of free food placed in a common area.
It is a rigorously tested scenario here at the New River Valley bureau. Our highly unscientific study began in April with what I will call "The Matzo Test." Matzo is a dry, tasteless type of cracker eaten during the Jewish holiday of Passover - a testament to the Israelites who escaped years of slavery in Egypt so quickly and abruptly that they did not have time to let their bread rise.
Most Jewish people despise the stuff after years of forced matzo-eating behind them. People who are not Jewish, for some unknown reason, are fascinated by it.
The dreaded box of matzo sat on my kitchen shelf for weeks after Passover this year, uneaten and loathed. I had two choices: throw it away or pass it onto my co-workers. The next day, the box sat in the middle of the newsroom. The true food experiment had begun.
The entire box - and I mean the entire box - of matzo was gone within two work days. It's not that my coworkers particularly liked the matzo either. After their initial curiosity, they realized it tastes worse than chewing on a chunk of Styrofoam.
Everyone ate it anyway.
What else would be senselessly devoured?
The big, sour olive-green hard candy test: After cleaning my apartment one day, I discovered a bag-full of yucky hard candies given to me months before as a last-minute gift. Result: Gone within 16.5 working hours.
The stale, bright yellow "Peeps" Easter candy test: A co-worker wanted to rid herself of the cloying yellow marshmallow birds her kids failed to eat during the holiday. Result: Devoured within eight working hours.
The Oscar the Grouch, Big Bird and Cookie Monster cupcakes with pounds of frosting test: A cute idea for a birthday resulted in cupcakes bearing enough frosting - and sugar - to make an entire class of first-graders hyperactive from a single treat. Everyone complained there was too much frosting. Result: The cupcakes were gone by day's end.
Admit it, the free food phenomenon exists in your office too. When someone brings in a pan of brownies, even the crumbs are gone by the end of the day. By 5 p.m., the cake brought in to celebrate someone's birthday looks like it was hit by a bomb.
But we all take comfort in one fact here. Sometimes, someone brings in carrots or fruit. We eat that, too.
LENGTH: Medium: 56 linesby CNB