ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Friday, May 24, 1996 TAG: 9605240022
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: Friday Something
SOURCE: NANCY GLEINER
Out of the mouths of babes, malapropisms are adorable. Out of the mouths of high-school and college students, they may make us cringe. But, hey, it's Friday, and the consequences have already been handed out on these gems:
From Jacquelyn Arnold, a former Roanoke high school teacher:
"'Red Dragon' is about a cereal killer.''
``My class went to a performance of the Roanoke Sympathy Orchestra.''
``When Steinbeck was studying marine biology, he found out about some unusual orgasms.''
``Chaucer wrote during the Midevil Period.''
``Some Buddhists are also Confucious and Tourists.''
``In 1983, Walker received the Pulitzer, an anal award.''
``The writer belonged to the Greek Orthodontist Church.''
From Becky Mushko, Roanoke middle school English teacher: ``Love is an infection between two people.''
Lois Powers heard this one: ``House plants need lots of humility around them.''
And just to show that we're not above laughing at ourselves, these were spotted in this newspaper:
Evelyn Decker read, ``SHOUTS for sale,'' in the classifieds. (``Shoats'' was misspelled.)
Decker also figured Chip and Dale furniture was not really the kind meant for the abode of furry, nut-eaters.
Max Matthews was kind enough to point out these faux mots: ``The in thing, noted Simmons, is for a rocker to say he has kicked his heroine addition,'' and ``NATO Members Prepare to Reassess Alliance Roll.''
And this, spotted in fridaysomething BMT (before my time): ``Gentile Southerners would gasp ..."
So, perhaps, would English instructors.
Heard any butcherings of the English language? Send them to Nancy Gleiner at P.O. Box 2491, Roanoke, Va. 24010 or e-mail nancygroanoke.infi.net.
LENGTH: Short : 44 linesby CNB