ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Thursday, May 30, 1996 TAG: 9605300053
SECTION: SPORTS PAGE: B-1 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: BRIAN CULP
Well, this is the column I was hoping to at least postpone for a while, if I ever got around to writing it at all. However, in light of my recent exploits on the field - or, more specifically, at the plate - and since it is all I can think about lately, I will discuss the feared topic now.
Your columnist is in a slump.
``Oh, come on now,'' I hear you say, ``everyone in baseball goes through slumps, even the great ones.'' Roger Maris once went 2-for-63. Even Ted Williams, the greatest hitter of all time (according to my father, anyway), the last human on the planet to hit .400, once endured a 3-for-60 span of futility. ``How bad can your problems possibly be?''
I suppose your level of sympathy will depend largely on how the news is related. So first, I'll give it to you straight: I am 0-for-May.
As I sit down to write this, I've gone 15 days in the employment of the Colorado Rockies without so much as a single base hit. In other words, I picked up more paychecks than base hits during the past half-month. I feel grossly overpaid, which is no small feat while playing in the minor leagues.
Feeling a bit weepy yet? Would a few metaphors help you understand? OK, then, how about these:
I've had fewer hits this month than Vanilla Ice, Flock of Seagulls, Human League and the Knack had in their entire careers. There have been more tornado movies released this month than Brian Culp base hits. If I single in my next at-bat, I'll have as many hits as McDonald's has introduced new hamburgers this month.
All right, enough. No more feeling sorry for myself. Misery may love company, but in my experience, most pity parties have an attendance of one. So then, is there a lesson to be learned from all of this? Is there anything that can be taken from this experience and applied to the rest of the season - or the rest of my life?
Every day manager Bill McGuire writes an inspirational quote on the bottom of the lineup card. You've probably seen them, most coined by men and women long ago departed, quotes extolling the virtues of patience, hard work and perseverance. One quote he shared this year particularly stuck with me: ``Sport doesn't develop character so much as reveal it.'' I don't remember who said it.
Baseball will test a person's character, his mettle, as perhaps no other game will. It will do so because it is a game of failure.
If there is one certainty in baseball, it is that you will fail. Period. Deal with it. The game will knock you down, and when it does, pick yourself off the ground, dust yourself off and go at it again. And when it levels you again, see plan A. It's an approach that is essential for any successful baseball player.
Sounds like a fairly good way to approach life as well, no?
Hopefully, by the time you read this, there sill be some happy little postscript about how I've ended this slump. Maybe writing this will serve some kind of purification process. I can use this column as some kind of confessional to absolve me of my sins at the plate.
Recently at a restaurant after a game, after yet another 0-fer night at the plate, I got up to use the bathroom. Upon my return to the table, my teammates had thoughtfully removed the knife and fork from my silverware arrangement. You see, they were just looking out for my safety, making sure I wouldn't injure myself with sharp utensils. It was a joke, of course, but such is the mindset when you're in a slump.
Hopefully, soon the postgame meals will be cause for more celebration.
And I'll be able to eat them with a fork.
Brian Culp is a designated hitter/outfielder for the Salem Avalanche.|
LENGTH: Medium: 74 lines ILLUSTRATION: PHOTO: Culp. (headshot) color.by CNB