ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Saturday, June 1, 1996 TAG: 9606030125
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: B-10 EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: It came from the video store
SOURCE: MIKE MAYO
In ``Bram Stoker's Burial of the Rats'' Kevin Alber plays the famous author of ``Dracula.''
Home video is the medium of choice for low-budget horror filmmakers. Here are five new releases that cover the spectrum from silly to spooky (but mostly silly).
"Bram Stoker's Burial of the Rats" is a throwback to those terrific Hammer films of the 1950s and '60s. The Russian-American production has the same look and cheeky attitude toward its "classic" horror source.
The wacky tale begins in the 1860s as young aspiring writer Bram Stoker (Kevin Alber) is abducted by ruthless swordfighting lesbian feminist rodent-worshippers in black leather thong bikinis. Madeleine (Maria Ford) and the rest serve the Queen of Vermin (Adrienne Barbeau). Her aim is to unseat the male power structure of the village of St. Cecile ... just as soon as her minions finish their topless modern dance routine.
The pace is quick, and the humor is intentional. Great stuff for drive-in fans.
"Mr. Stitch" is a stylized updating of "Frankenstein" that starts slow and never generates any real energy. Much of it takes place on a nearly empty white set where the proverbial mad scientist (Rutger Hauer) has created a sexless patchwork man (Wil Wheaton) who combines all races and genders - a sort of off-the-shelf Michael Jackson.
After some lengthy discussions of innocence and religion, the plot, such as it is, kicks in. That has to do with sinister government conspiracies, half-hearted chases and a sympathetic psychologist (Nia Peeples). Producer/director/writer Roger Avary also co-wrote "Pulp Fiction," but you'd hardly guess it on the basis of this Franco-American effort. It's really more akin to George Lucas' student film-turned-feature, "THX-1138."
As low-budget horror movies go, "Grim" is about average. It's not at all frightening because the premise is so ludicrous and the organ music in the soundtrack is so melodramatic. The title character, a guy in a goofy monster suit, lives in caverns beneath a new subdivision and communicates telepathically with certain above-ground residents before he chops them up and worships the devil. Or something; I couldn't figure out that part. The characters are cardboard, and the whole thing becomes far too gory for my taste. Again, though, it's too ridiculous to be offensive.
"The Whispering" is a serious, often interesting but unfocused movie. In fact, it wanders all over the genre landscape and never fully resolves its vague premise.
The story seems to be about a mysterious pale woman who may be Death or some sort of spirit who encourages suicide. A cop turned insurance investigator (Leif Garrett) involves himself in a series of suicides after he meets a pretty girl (Leslie Danon) who has even less to do with the matter than he does.
Some effective tricks and atmospherics don't make up for long pointless philosophical discussions and other loud scenes that go nowhere. The conclusion is equally unsatisfactory.
Not even the demise of its central character can kill off the incredibly resilient "Witchcraft" series. Yes, the cheap horror continues, unabashed, into its eighth installment, a haunted house tale subtitled "Salem's Ghost." The budget is so low that you can actually see the wires in one special effects scene. And where else could you expect to find such wonderful dialogue as this:
"A vile warlock, a wretched and evil man by the name of Simon Renfro, accused of murdering and ingesting countless children and raping more than a dozen women and forcing them into black witchery, was desecrated on this very ground and buried in what you know to be the room off your basement!"
Next week: Thrilling thrillers!
Got a question about home video or film? Contact your favorite video columnist at P.O. Box 2491; Roanoke, Va. 24010-2491, or by e-mail at 75331.2603compuserve.com.
New releases this week:
Leaving Las Vegas ***
Starring Nicholas Cage, Elisabeth Shue. Directed by Mike Figgis. MGM/UA. 110 minutes. Rated R for subject matter, rape, violence, sexual material, brief nudity.
In a time when almost every mainstream film has an obligatory "happy" ending, Mike Figgis's grim character study is paradoxically refreshing. Nicholas Cage plays a washed up alcoholic Hollywood scriptwriter who decides to commit suicide by drinking himself to death in Las Vegas. Elisabeth Shue is the prostitute who befriends him and eventually comes to love him.
- Mike Mayo
Grumpier Old Men ** 1/2
Starring Jack Lemmon, Walter Matthau, Ann-Margret, Sophia Loren. Directed by Howard Deutch. Warner Bros. 97 minutes. Rated PG-13 for salty language, sexual situations.
Half the fun in the 1993 sleeper hit "Grumpy Old Men" came in watching Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau work together in good roles. It's all of the fun in this loosely stitched sequel. The virtually plotless story is simply an excuse to bring the crusty Minnesotans back with Ann-Margret and the inspired addition of Sophia Loren. - M.M.
Heavy Metal ** 1/2
Directed by Dennis Potterton. Columbia TriStar. 90 minutes. Rated R for graphic violence, nudity, sexual material, strong language.
This 1981 animated feature, based on the popular magazine, makes a belated debut on videotape. Reportedly, problems involving music rights have held it back from official release, though it's been shown so often on cable television that bootleg copies abound. In terms of violence and sexual content, these connected short stories don't go as far as some contemporary Japanese "anime," but the film is certainly not meant for kids.
- M.M.
The Essentials:
Bram Stoker's Burial of the Rats *** Concorde-New Horizons. 77 minutes. Rated R for violence, nudity, sexual content.
Mr. Stitch ** WarnerVision 98 minutes. Rated R for subject matter, violence, strong language.
Grim * A-Pix 86 minutes. Rated R for gory violence, strong language.
The Whispering ** A-Pix 86 minutes. Rated R for subject matter, violence, strong language, brief nudity, sexual content.
Witchcraft: Salem's Ghost ** A-Pix. 90 minutes. Rated R and unrated for violence, ridiculous effects, nudity, sexual content, strong language.
LENGTH: Long : 118 linesby CNB