ROANOKE TIMES 
                      Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times

DATE: Saturday, June 1, 1996                 TAG: 9606030131
SECTION: EXTRA                    PAGE: B-10 EDITION: METRO 
                                             TYPE: MOVIE REVIEW
SOURCE: KATHERINE REED STAFF WRITER 

`EDDIE' IS AN AIR BALL FROM WHOOPI

Well, let's see ... what can we say about "Eddie," the new Whoopi Goldberg vehicle?

If it were a movie, we would attempt some kind of analysis of it - albeit a superficial one. We would say something about the direction, the acting, on a good day, maybe even something about the editing and the cinematography. We would stop referring to ourselves as "we."

But because "Eddie" is more like an infomercial for the NBA than an actual movie, it's hard to know what to say about it. Heck, even professional basketball is more exciting than this. And a Nike commercial has more laughs.

It is all so slight, I realized later I could have gone home, gotten a beer out of the fridge, some pretzels out of the pantry and been back at the theater in time to catch the obligatory crisis-conflict point of the movie.

The story, such as it is, centers on a loud-mouthed Knicks fan named Eddie (Goldberg) who gets a chance to coach the Knicks when the team's regular coach (Dennis Farina) is driven off by the team's new owner, Wild Bill or Billy Bob or something like that (Frank Langella).

Wild Bill sees a chance to make a few bucks on the novelty of having an unknown woman coach a pro basketball team, so Whoopi - that is, Eddie - sticks around. The players ignore her, she talks to a couple of them like human beings and they start playing like a team.

When Wild Bill tells Eddie he's gonna sell the team and move it to St. Louis, things go from boring to stupid. Full-blown cornball.

And what's with calling men "girls" or "ladies" as a term of derision? I would have thought Ms. Goldberg would have had the class and intelligence to fight the scriptwriters on that one.

Don't be fool enough to spend full price on "Eddie." Wait for it on video, crack a couple of cold ones and settle into the couch, where you'll be much more comfortable when you fall asleep.

Eddie * 1/2

A Hollywood Pictures release showing at Salem Valley 8 and Cinema USA Crossroads. Rated PG-13 for some adult humor and cuss words. 100 minutes.

LENGTH: Short :   48 lines
ILLUSTRATION: PHOTO:  Whoopi Goldberg (right) plays the amateur coach of the 
          Knicks on ``Eddie.'' color.