ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Monday, June 3, 1996 TAG: 9606040014
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: Ben Beagle
SOURCE: BEN BEAGLE
People who know me will tell you that I'm a person of infinite grace who always looks on the bright side.
They know that old yours truly here has faced the volleys of life the same way Stonewall Jackson dared Yankee lead on the Henry House Hill.
Sure. The times are a little strange, what with all those people wondering about whether Madonna is going to have a girl or boy.
That asteroid came pretty close a couple of weeks ago and those of us who thought Malcolm Forbes had just gone somewhere for good were disappointed when he showed up again.
I have my personal problems, including the thunderstorm season that causes my dog Millie to try to dig holes in the bathroom floor.
But I've smiled through it all. I haven't become blasphemous and asked why God has to have thunderstorms at 3 a.m. I haven't said that when I was a boy, thunderstorms came at a decent hour.
A new pain has developed in my good elbow, but I've gone bravely on, knowing that tomorrow will be a better day.
All of us have just survived a Memorial Day weekend in which John Wayne won the Big One all by himself while serving in every branch of the service - which is not bad for a guy who never saw the inside of a post exchange.
But things are looking up. For example, Sylvester Stallone told all these people in Australia recently that he isn't a god.
That's what people there thought he said, although he may have said something else given the problem he has with the language. We had people in the senior play who had better diction than Sly.
But, still, it's pretty heady stuff when he gets into his sweats and runs around with his arms over his head while the Rocky Balboa theme is playing. Deep down in their hearts, most Americans would like to do that. Or even have a reason to do that.
I, the optimist from Happy Highfields Road, think that Sly was really telling us that he isn't going to make another Rocky Balboa movie. That has to be good news, although Sly could play Gen. Eisenhower or Abraham Lincoln and still sound like Rocky Balboa.
At any rate, I think we can look forward to a brave new world with no more Rocky movies.
These are exciting times to be alive.
Listen. The way our luck is running, I think we'll hear any day now that Charlton Heston no longer thinks he's Moses.
LENGTH: Medium: 51 linesby CNB