ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Friday, June 21, 1996 TAG: 9606210018
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: Friday Something
SOURCE: NANCY GLEINER
An unkempt man walked into a bank and asked the teller to cash a check for him.
A bit hesitant, the teller asked, ``Can you identify yourself?''
The man took a mirror out of his pocket, looked into it and said, ``Yup! That's me!''
No wonder it's so hard to communicate - if we answered the questions we're asked - literally - we'd probably really tick people off. For instance:
Someone comes over to you in a movie theater, points to the chair next to you and asks, ``Is anyone sitting there?'' If you were James Stewart with his invisible friend, Harvey, you could honestly (with a touch of hallucination) answer ``yes.'' Otherwise, you would have to answer ``no,'' though that seat may in fact be taken. Of course, if the seat were taken, it wouldn't be there at all!
Then there's the waiter who asks, ``What are we having tonight?'' Who invited him? Or the waiter who, when taking your order, asks, ``How do you like your eggs?'' Hard to tell; you don't have them yet!
When someone calls on the phone and asks, ``Is Emily there?'' you naturally respond, ``Yes, she is.'' The caller thinks your silence means you've gone to get her, not that you, a stickler for proper English, are waiting for his next question.
And don't you hate it when people ask, ``Is it hot/cold enough for you?'' Or the secretary who queries, ``May I tell him who's calling?'' Sure, if you can figure it out!
What about the entry on a form labeled ``sex.'' How tempting - sure; maybe later; I'm not that kind of girl; don't I at least get dinner first?
LENGTH: Short : 39 linesby CNB