ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Monday, July 29, 1996 TAG: 9607290093
SECTION: EDITORIAL PAGE: A-5 EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: Monty S. Leitch
SOURCE: MONTY S. LEITCH
I DON'T know what's come over me lately.
First, I cleaned out the medicine cabinet in the downstairs bathroom. Then, it was the bathroom shelves on which I store my cosmetics.
Do you know how many out-of-date cosmetics and over-the-counter drugs one slightly vain, slightly hypochondriacal, over-the-hill Floyd County resident can accumulate? A couple of trashbags-full, that's how much. It gave me pause, I tell you. The sight of all those glued-together cough drops and half-used tubes of oily preparations. The oddly colored lipsticks and the bath powder that I know came from my grandmother's house (she died in 1981). The bottles of mousse and hairspray, and something called "curl enhancer," as if I'd ever needed that! It made me feel like the Queen of Consumerism. Or, the Queen of Denial, maybe.
It drove me to look into that Black Hole of the Kitchen that is the cabinets under the sink. I'm embarassed to tell you what all I found there. But I will say that it filled another trashbag. And it prompted me to stuff all the holes around the pipes with steel wool. I've heard that discourages the entry of mice. We'll see if it works.
Whatever this looniness is, it's also got me cleaning out drawers: putting all the good T-shirts in one stack and all the work T-shirts in another, putting all the white socks in one drawer and all the funky socks in another. Putting all the tattered and too-tight items of any type into yet another trashbag.
And a couple of weeks ago, when I was doing some sewing, I made a special trip to Lowe's just to find some kind of organizer case into which I could sort my buttons. All the red ones in one little compartment, all the blues one in another. It took me a two hours, but you should see that case! At this moment, not a button is out of place.
While I was at it, I cleaned out the closet in which I keep all my sewing supplies. The whole closet! But here's the worst yet: Yesterday afternoon I made a special trip to the store to buy a bottle of white vinegar just so I could clean out the coffee pot.
"What in the world possessed you to do that?" asked the Man of the House.
"Well, you are supposed to do it on a regular basis," I said.
"And the last time you did this was...?" "Hey," I said, "I might do it again some day. That would establish a basis for regularity. Besides, it's supposed to make your coffee pot work much faster. It's supposed to make your coffee taste much better."
"No doubt," he said. And he left it at that.
But I have to tell you that this morning, when I handed him his first cup of coffee, he took the trouble to say, "Boy, that was fast." I chose to ignore the sardonic tone in his voice. "And how does it taste?" I asked him.
"Oh," he said. "Much better. Much - I don't know - much cleaner somehow." I'm hoping to get over this looniness soon. In the meantime, I'm reorganizing all my files.
Monty S. Leitch is a Roanoke Times columnist.
LENGTH: Medium: 61 linesby CNB