ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Wednesday, August 7, 1996 TAG: 9608080001
SECTION: EXTRA PAGE: 1 EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: BEN BEAGLE
SOURCE: BEN BEAGLE
At about the age of 12, I decided there was no such thing as a silver lining - no matter what my grandmother said.
The other day I didn't find a silver lining, but I did find evidence that there are people out there who want to gain weight. This tends to make me think there may be a silver lining after all.
This revelation came in a medical advice column written by Dr. Paul Donohue, who is all right in my book, pal.
Without Dr. Donohue, we would never have known about a correspondent who called himself or herself an "active skinny." This person is tired of being skinny and wanted to know if daily exercise keeps one from bulking up a little.
Is that courage or what? In a time when skinny people dominate American thought, here is someone who wants to gain weight.
This is sheer bravery. No thought here of not being able to get into winter clothes or a little flab here and there.
It's time, I think to identify Active Skinny. I think she's a runner who wants to stand for something other than prominent ribs and cheekbones. I think she wants to make a certain statement when she runs.
But let's not forget Dr. Donohue and his advice - which blows like a new wind through the minds of the many people who have half-blinded themselves by reading the nutrition information on everything they eat.
Listen. I know people who are so obsessed they look for nutrition information on everything - books, deodorants, dental floss and stuff that destroys corns.
Dr. Donohue, long may he practice, advised Active Skinny: "Try to squeeze in an extra 350 calories a day over what you normally take in. Spread these 350 calories over three meals. It's not an exorbitant amount."
Three hundred and fifty calories a day. That's four light beers. Three strips of regular bacon. Enough real potato chips to get your hands good and greasy.
Active Skinny can also have a banana and 16 ounces of sports drink between meals. Another 250 calories.
Nobody until now has heard of a doctor advising anybody to lay on an extra 600 calories a day. And we can give credit for this breakthrough to Active Skinny.
She is a superb human being. Nature's noblewoman. I only wish I could be there after she has gained 15 pounds and blows everybody away when she shows up for aerobics in a bikini.
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