ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Thursday, August 22, 1996 TAG: 9608230017
SECTION: NEIGHBORS PAGE: N-10 EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: BETWEEN THE LINES
TYPE: BACK TO SCHOOL
SOURCE: NANCY GLEINER
WHEN YOUR older child is a senior in high school, there are big changes ahead.
Dear Child of Mine,
I've never looked forward to back-to-school. It's always made me sad that summer blossomed and wilted before we had barely smelled the flowers together.
I look forward to this year's opening day least of all.
This is the last year you'll be coming home after your first day of school. I guess it was choosing your senior portrait for the yearbook that first slapped me in the face.
Or maybe it was making that first appointment at a college admissions office.
It could have been one of the campus tours we did together. Was it really so long ago that I was you?
Next year, you'll be standing in line at some university bookstore, waiting to pay, instead of standing next to me picking out school supplies. You'll write your own check, too.
You might e-mail me from your room or, better yet, call, but it won't be the same as getting a hug.
Seems there's hardly enough time left to teach you what I hoped you'd know when you're living under a different roof. The books say kids learn by example, though - even when we don't think they're looking.
Have you learned to find your own heroes? You haven't grown up with ready-made heroes like I did; you've known all along that presidents aren't necessarily good, decent men and that athletes don't always play just for the love of the game. You watched Mickey Mantle die for his sins.
Have you learned that some actions have dire consequences - drinking and driving, having unprotected sex, cheating on tests or on a girlfriend? You've grown up knowing that people die from AIDS, that people kill each other over broken hearts.
Have you learned to separate whites and darks - and only when you're doing laundry? We really haven't come all that far, you know.
It wasn't long ago you learned how to organize your time, how to interview important people, how to make spaghetti.
You have only a year left under my wings. I know it will be enough time for you to feel ready to handle it all. It won't be enough time for me to feel ready to let you go.
Have you learned the sanctity of life, human or otherwise? Do you have a sense of the limits of your own body? Extreme games worry parents. So do fraternity parties. There are other ways to feel empowered.
Have you learned to have faith in your fellow man even when he seems to be wallowing in filth? Have you really learned that your fellow woman is equal?
Have you learned that love really is the greatest gift of all, and that honesty really is the best policy?
Have you learned to see God in our mountains? Or in the insects crawling on the grass? Or in the homeless man sitting in the alley?
Have your roots grown deeply enough so you'll remember them when you begin to fly?
Is there still time to teach you these things while you're already facing forward, your foot in the air, ready for the next step?
Will you still be listening while you fill out applications, choose a tuxedo for the prom or march to ``Pomp and Circumstance?''
Should I have done things differently? Could I really have known how?
I feel as if I'm counting the grains of sand left, wishing I could reverse their direction or at least tip over the hourglass and stop any more grains from falling.
I should be glad there are only 12 more months of higher food bills, arguments over curfews, pleas to use the telephone once in a while.
I could be glad if I could close my heart.
But we do have 12 more months. And I can still get one more hug after the first day of school.
Nancy Gleiner, a staff writer, has a son, Nathan, who is a senior at Cave Spring High School this year.
LENGTH: Medium: 80 linesby CNB