ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Friday, September 6, 1996 TAG: 9609060002
SECTION: EDITORIAL PAGE: A-11 EDITION: METRO
SOURCE: BOB WILLIS
IN BOOTH Tarkington's 1918 novel "The Magnificent Ambersons,'' the patrician protagonist drives his horse-drawn dog-cart close to a middle-class townsman, forcing him back to the sidewalk and heedlessly splashing him - and proceeds without a backward look. The angry man makes use of what Tarkington calls the pet street insult of the year: "Got 'ny sense! See here, bub, does your mother know you're out?'''
The young target of his dudgeon insouciantly flicks the man with his whip, not far below the waist, and the scene proceeds thus:
"He [the townsman] was not made of hardware: He raved, looking for a missile; then, finding none, commanded himself sufficiently to shout after the rapid dog-cart: 'Turn down your pants, you would-be dude! Raining in dear ole Lunnon! Get off the earth!'''
You needn't ask how that would play out today, with the young patrician in an automobile. At the least, the townsman would have left the air blue with invective. He might also have jumped in his own car to give chase, the incident culminating in a drive-by shooting.
Another favorite insult cited in the book was "Pull down your vest.'' Calculated to leave the insultee groping vainly for a comeback.
They knew how to curse in Tarkington's day. We need something like that now: expressive ways of showing displeasure, yet kinder, gentler. Ways that do not blacken reputations, that leave intact the assumption that people can disagree yet remain reasonably civil, shunning expressions that can evoke greater anger, scorn or violence.
In ancient times, to show how upset they were by blasphemy, the Hebrews rent their clothing. After a while, for convenience, they left a flap near shoulder level that could easily be grasped and torn. Evocative, but easier on the rest of the garment, and open to repetition.
If only we could persuade talk-show hosts like Rush Limbaugh or G. Gordon Liddy to adopt such a method. Rush might groan: "Clinton wants to let homosexuals into the military!'' Riiiip!
"Hillary is running the White House!'' Riiiip! Or Liddy: "Federal agents want to take our guns away!'' Riiiip!
Better, I think, than directions on where to aim guns at those agents. Cloth can be mended more readily than lives or reputations.
The Bible (Matthew viii: 12) tells us that when sinners are cast into the outer darkness, "there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.''
Gnashing is grinding or striking the teeth together to express rage or anguish. People used to do a lot of gnashing. The Oxford English Dictionary gives several examples:
Grinald (1557): "The Macedon, percuying hurt, gan gnash.'' Crashaw (1646): "His teeth for Torment gnash.'' Milton (1667): "There they him laid, Gnashing for anguish and despite and shame.'' Dryden (1709): "The Seer . . . Rowl'd his green Eyes . . . And gnash'd his Teeth.'' Cowper (1791): "And from beneath Loud gnashings hear.''
Why did so widespread a practice go out of style? Surely not for lack of anguish; it's everywhere you look. Bring back the gnash. It affects not only the preoccupied: If you've ever heard anyone grinding his teeth in the night, you'll beg to be delivered from the sound.
Dentists will object to this form of expression. What about tearing one's hair? A few strands may pull loose, but taken together, your locks are strong enough to hold your body weight. Or wring your hands: That is, clasp, twist or squeeze them.
Almost any kind of vigorous physical motion will help vent distress or anger, and it's better than flinging insults.
Bill Clinton certainly thinks so. Knowing he's vulnerable on the character issue, he hopes to fend off such attacks by promising not to indulge in them himself. We'll see whether that works. The time may yet come in this campaign when the president will long to urge Bob Dole to pull down his vest.
Bob Willis of Fincastle is retired associate editor of this newspaper's editorial page.
LENGTH: Medium: 74 linesby CNB