ROANOKE TIMES
Copyright (c) 1996, Roanoke Times
DATE: Sunday, September 15, 1996 TAG: 9609130186
SECTION: BUSINESS PAGE: 5 EDITION: METRO
COLUMN: Working It Out
SOURCE: CAMILLE WRIGHT MILLER
Q: One of my staff is causing problems. His work is acceptable, but his attitude isn't. Beyond undercutting me with others, he and I have had several confrontations which veered into personal attacks against me. He's forcing me to become the kind of supervisor I've never wanted to be. I find myself being flip, wanting to use cutting retorts and acting unlike myself.
A: No one can make you behave in ways other than of your choosing. Your employee isn't "forcing" - or even causing -you to engage in unacceptable actions. Your frustration is allowing you to employ other behaviors, since your typical style hasn't gained the behaviors you want.
Often, when an area of our lives feels out of control, we resort to less developed sides. For example, individuals who are thinkers may resort to expressing only feelings when under great stress. Begin regaining your effective style by recognizing you're tremendously stressed from interactions with your employee. Deal with your own stress first.
Your employee's behaviors suggest he is acting in both an aggressive and passive-aggressive manner. Use your assertiveness skills. Go directly to the employee and confront him when you find he's undercutting you. Following that, teach him similar assertiveness skills. You may not always like what he has to say, but you'll appreciate the directness rather than the passive-aggressive behavior.
When you find yourself thinking or beginning to say something you'll regret, give yourself a mental signal. Try something similar to "this is unlike me. I need a few minutes alone before we continue." Then excuse yourself to regain your perspective.
You can help your employee become a better employee and a happier person; however, the solutions begin with you.
If you know you're a good supervisor and work well with others, never let someone else's behavior change the fundamental way in which you deal with people. When you do, the bigger problem is yours.
Q: Everyone in our division took tests to determine working styles, leadership potential, and personality preferences. One co-worker is using this information against us. For example, if an assigned task is unwelcome, the response is "that's one of my weaknesses, someone else will have to do it."
A: Tests and inventories are given to identify strengths, or preferences. Test-takers are counseled that they should capitalize on strengths where possible and work to strengthen areas needing attention. Your co-worker seems to have missed that part of the presentation.
Your co-worker needs to recognize that very few jobs are tailored only to our strengths. We learn to get through those tasks we don't like so we can do the work we enjoy.
Because the burden of doing your co-workers least favored task falls to you, you have the right to complain to your supervisor.
Your supervisor should request that your co-worker meet with the individual who administered the tests. That person can explain that tests are useful as general indicators. Results are neither cast in stone nor evidence to be used as an excuse.
Q: I'm scheduled to attend a very expensive training program for additional certification in four weeks. I really want this training; however, I've been hired by another company to start work in six weeks. My qualms are minor, but they're qualms nonetheless. I feel my current employer owes me the training, but I also recognize I'm taking his money knowing he won't get the benefit.
A: Are alternatives available which will allow you to achieve your goals for training without sacrificing your highest ethical standards? Do you really want to knowingly use your current firm to pay for training it will never benefit from?
Brainstorm other possibilities.
Have you discussed the training program with your future employer? Will your new employer consider reimbursing the cost? Will the training be offered again in the near future? If so, will your future employer cover the cost then? Do you have access to personal funds to pay for the training?
Beyond personal ethics, consider that the work world is small. Your current employer won't forget the cost of employing you. Your actions have the potential to haunt you at a later date, when the stakes are much higher.
Personal integrity isn't always demonstrated during big moments, it's the culmination of all the little opportunities.
Camille Wright Miller, an organizational behavior sociologist who works in Lexington, answers questions from our readers about workplace issues. Please send them to her in care of The Roanoke Times, Business News Department, P.O. Box 2491, Roanoke 24010.
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